yeah prob the best way is a socket
here is a fast mock-up of it as a socket

on $*:text:/^!tnt$/iS:#: {
  if (!$hget(tnt,c)) {
    if ($sock(tnt)) sockclose tnt
    sockopen tnt www.fiction.net 80
    sockmark tnt msg # Things Not To Say During Sex $chr(35) $r(1,125) --
  }
}
on *:sockopen:tnt: {
  sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /tidbits/sex/125_not_to_say.html HTTP/1.1
  sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: $+($sock(tnt).addr,$str($crlf,2))
}
on *:sockread:tnt: {
  var %tnt | sockread %tnt
  if ($regex(%tnt,/<LI>(.+)/)) {
    hinc -mu5 tnt c 1
    if ($hget(tnt,c) = $gettok($sock(tnt).mark,10,32)) {
      $gettok($sock(tnt).mark,1-,32) $regml(1) 
      sockclose tnt
    }
  }
}

lol @ I'm out of condoms, can I use a sock?