Extremely inefficient code and pretty much useless, could have used 1 on text and instead of:

  elseif ($2 == $nick) { /describe $chan prepairs a glass pipe and passes it to $nick . }
  elseif ($2 == $null) { /describe $chan prepairs a glass pipe and passes it to $nick . } 

could have been

  elseif (($2 == $nick) || (!$2))  { /describe $chan prepairs a glass pipe and passes it to $nick . }

Pretty funny though 3/10.