There must be a way to reduce those if statements..

instead of all this crap,

if (%Deathmatch.HPplayer2 = 1) { msg $chan 4•1 D14m 4[3 %Deathmatch.Player2 $+ : 4,4|4,4|||||||||9,4 1% 4,4|||||||||| 4] }

just do,
msg $chan 4•1 D14m 4[3 %Deathmatch.Player2 $+ : 4,4|4,4|||||||||9,4 %Deathmatch.HPplayer2 $+ % 4,4|||||||||| 4]