Simple things, pretty self-explanatory. Be sure to edit and into your own things, because that is going to sign your kicks.

Tested & functional, all written by me!
Enjoy!

alias kick {
  if ($2 == $null) {
    kick $chan $1 4P9ownage 4K9ick 4B9y 4<first letter of nick>9<rest of lettres>
  }
  else { 
    kick $chan $1 $2-
  }
}

alias ban {
  if ($2 == $null) {
    ban -k # $1 4B9anned 4B9y $+(4,$left($me,1),9,$right($me,-1),4)
    notice $1 You have been banned from # for reason: $2-
    msg # $me runs through the field, to $1 and punts them like a football!
  }
  else {
    ban -k $1 $2-
  }
}

alias akick {
  set %akick $1 #
  kick $1 4A9kick 4f9or 4l9ife4! 4Y9ou 4d9eserved 4i9t4!
}

alias clearakick {
  unset %akick 
  echo 4Akick was cleared! %akick
}

on *:JOIN:#: {
  if ($nick isin %akick) && ($chan isin %akick) {
    ban $nick 
    kick $nick  4A9kick 4f9or 4l9ife4!
  }
}