Haha nice script!

You can use

global $_PITC, $api;

There's no need for a seperate line.

PITC can return an array of words instead of a string so

$message = $args['text'];
$mess = explode(" ",$args['text']);

can become

$mess = $args['text_array'];

I love the Freddie Mercury trigger mainly as I LOVE that song and Queen in general.

p.s. I've noticed on line 26 and 29 you're repeating the bot's name, if you want an action you can do

$api->action("slaps someone.");