Why made it complicated when you could do:

on $*:text:/^!(cmds|evil|gay|sexy|retard|fat|n00b|smart|jealous|love)/iS:#: {
  var %x $regml(1) | goto %x | :cmds | .msg $nick Commands are the following: !evil !gay !sexy !retard !fat !wiegh !smart !n00b !jealous !love | halt
  :%x | .msg # 4,1 $+ $2- is $+($r(0,100),%) $regml(1)
}