There are ways you can go about a random slap script. This is one of them:
on *:TEXT:*:#: {
var %me ,,|,,__(>_<)__,,|,,:No!
if ($strip($1-2) = !slap $me) .msg # $gettok(%me,$r(1,2),58)
else {
var %slap large trout,large pig,large horse,large cat,Big Mac,large dog,computer,stolen car
$iif($$2 ison #,.describe # slaps $2 around a bit with a $gettok(%slap,$r(1,8),44))
}
}