alias ebreasts {
  var %inch = $round($calc(0.005 * $uptime),5)
  var %ni = $round(%inch,0)
  if (. isin $calc(%ni / 2)) { inc %ni $iif(%ni == 0),2,1) }
  var %c = 2,4,6,8,10,12,14,16,18
  var %sel = My breasts are only an A-cup. Damn i need boobs!!,My breasts are a B-Cup. I'm Still part ot iitty bitty titty committy,My breasts are a C-cup. Hahaha! half of Hollywood wish they had breasts as big these,My breasts are a D-Cup. They Melt in your mouth and not in your hands,My Breasts are Double D's They may be used as floaters in emergency,My breasts are F-cups. Hmm I wonder why does everyone love to see me run in place,My breasts are a double F-Cup. Yes you wish you could fuck me too,My Breasts are G-Cup. Yes yes I blame god for my curse,My breasts are Double GG sombody call hustler or penthouse i want invite damn it..,My breast are the largest in the world. someone call 911 please. i fallen and i can't get up
  msg $active $gettok(%sel,$iif(%ni <= 18,$findtok(%c,%ni,44),$numtok(%sel,44)),44)
}

Untested, should work though, i think