I won\'t pull a full Napa182 and recode the whole thing all |33+ an such but for one u don\'t need all those On TEXT events one will do fine an stack them like so:

on *:text:*:#:{ 
  if (hey isin $strip($1-)) { describe $chan hey $nick you can type hey do you want a fucking cookie? !yes or !no }
  if (hi isin $strip($1-)) { describe $chan hi $nick you can type hi do you want a fucking cookie? !yes or !no }
  if (whats up? isin $strip($1-)) { describe $chan hello $nick you can type whats and/or up? do you want a fucking cookie? !yes or !no }
  if (hello isin $strip($1-)) { describe $chan hello $nick you can type hello do you want a fucking coookie? !yes or !no }
  if ($strip($1-) == !yes)  { describe $chan TO FUCKING BAD!! }
  if ($strip($1-) == !no)  { describe $chan i wans\'t going to give you a fucking cookie anyway }
  if ($strip($1-) == !maybe) { describe $chan that wasn\'t a fucking answer }
  if ($strip($1-) == !gay)  { describe $chan !!! $nick would like to tell you that they r a fucking homo!! and you need to cover your assholes }
}

Should add some flood protection as well but tbh it cba atm so.`-.-´

PS: Your missing a closing bracket make sure you hit the little bracket checker on the right top side of your editor and add or remove accordingly.Not to bad tho.`-.-´