Rather than single line snippets, you could try incorporating a few of your ideas into one larger \"package\". You could add to this, as it stands, for example:

on *:TEXT:!stick*:#: {
  if ($2 == $null) { msg $chan There\'s no way thats happening pal }
  elseif ($2 == $me) { msg $chan no $nick, you do it yourself }
  else { describe $chan gently pokes both of $2\'s eyes out with a stick }
}