So Facebook took PHP, fixed it, and released it as a new language called Hack, http://bit.ly/1oKu3Y3
There's a presentation from Keith Adams on taking PHP seriously and ultimately introducing Hack. While I'm not totally sold (for a number of reasons), it's still an excellent watch. http://bit.ly/1lcGxbH
I might have to look into this. It seems promising. I'll have to add it to the supported languages here at Hawkee.