This is very basic I know. I'm in the process of making a FULL script for it. But right now my life is very busy. So here is the more, fun, and pointless/entertaining snippet. By the way, this is more of a personal script, but it's not like people don't post their personal creations anyway, so don't rag on me about it. kthnx. Also, another thing, the bottom on text event, is chanserv mode help.

On *:JOIN:#:{
  if ($nick == $me) { halt }
  else {  .timer 1 0 notice $nick 7,1Hello15,1 $nick $+ ! 4,1Please come in and relax. 9,1To use me, simply type 8,1@nc 9,1for the list of commands.
  .timer 1 2 notice $nick 4,15REMINDER14,1: 4,1ALL 14,1of my commands use the 11,1@ 14,1symbol. 4,1NOT 14,1the 10,1!, 10,1~, 10,1?, 14,1or 10,1^ 14,1symbols. You get the point... 6,1So don't use those other ones.
  .timer 1 5 notice $nick 12,1Oh and one more thing, 8,1I'm a bot, so do 4,1NOT 8,1try talking to me. 3,1Thank you, and have fun 0,1:D
}
}
ON *:TEXT:*:#:{
  if ($1 == @rnc) {
    .timer 1 0 msg $chan 11,1Normal Commands are14,1...
    .timer 1 2 msg $chan 12,1FUN SHIT15,1: 12,1@sexy 3,1<nick>, 12,1@gay 3,1<nick>, 12,1@amazing 3,1<nick>, 12,1@whipped 3,1<nick>, 12,1@manly 3,1<nick>, 12,1@ladylike 3,1<nick>, 12,1@badass 3,1<nick>, 12,1@nfact 3,1<nick> 4,1m3,1|4,1f3,1|4,1o3,1, 12,1@spinit3,1, 12,1@spinthat14,1...
    .timer 1 3 msg $chan 9,1GEEK 1,9STUFF15,1: 4,1@anonymous, 9,1@hacker14,1...
    .timer 1 4 msg $chan 14,1MISC COMMANDS15,1: 3,1?0,1<channel mode here>3,1mode (?vmode = v channel mode) - Shows what that specified mode does.
    .timer 1 6 notice $nick 8,1Have 7,1fun 4,1:D
  }
  elseif ($1 == @nc) { 
    .timer 1 0 notice $nick 11,1Normal Commands are14,1...
    .timer 1 2 notice $nick 12,1FUN SHIT15,1: 12,1@sexy 3,1<nick>, 12,1@gay 3,1<nick>, 12,1@amazing 3,1<nick>, 12,1@whipped 3,1<nick>, 12,1@manly 3,1<nick>, 12,1@ladylike 3,1<nick>, 12,1@badass 3,1<nick>, 12,1@nfact 3,1<nick> 4,1m3,1|4,1f3,1|4,1o3,1, 12,1@spinit3,1, 12,1@spinthat14,1...
    .timer 1 3 notice $nick 9,1GEEK 1,9STUFF15,1: 4,1@anonymous, 9,1@hacker14,1...
    .timer 1 4 notice $nick 14,1MISC COMMANDS15,1: 3,1?0,1<channel mode here>3,1mode (?vmode = v channel mode) - Shows what that specified mode does.
    .timer 1 6 notice $nick 8,1Have 7,1fun 4,1:D
  }
}
ON *:TEXT:*:#:{
  if ($1 == @sexy) { msg $chan $2 4,1is9,1 $rand(0,100) $+ % 15,1sexy. }
  if ($1 == @gay) { msg $chan $2 4,1is9,1 $rand(0,100) $+ % 15,1gay. }
  if ($1 == @amazing) { msg $chan $2 4,1is9,1 $rand(0,100) $+ % 15,1amaziiiing. }
  if ($1 == @whipped) { msg $chan $2 4,1is9,1 $rand(0,100) $+ % 15,1pussy whipped. }
  if ($1 == @manly) { msg $chan $2 4,1is9,1 $rand(0,100) $+ % 15,1manly. }
  if ($1 == @ladylike) { msg $chan $2 4,1is9,1 $rand(0,100) $+ % 15,1ladylike. }
  if ($1 == @badass) { msg $chan $2 4,1is9,1 $rand(0,100) $+ % 15,1badass. }
  if ($1 == @anonymous) { msg $chan 9,1Here's 12,1the 9,1wikipedia 12,1page 9,1on 12,1the 9,1hacktivist 12,1group14,1, 9,1why 12,1don't 9,1you 12,1read 9,1it14,1?14,1: 11,1http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_(group) }
  if ($1 == @hacker) { msg $chan 9,1I'm sorry $nick $+ , but there is too much information on this topic for me to show it all to you. 7,1Please go to 8,1http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hacker_(term) 7,1for all the information on 9,1H1,9a9,1c1,9k9,1e1,9r9,1s14,1! }
}

ON *:TEXT:*:#:{
  if ($1 == ?vmode) { msg $chan v <nickname> = Gives Voice to the user (May talk if chan is +m) }
  if ($1 == ?hmode) { msg $chan h <nickname> = Gives HalfOp status to the user (Limited op access) }
  if ($1 == ?omode) { msg $chan o <nickname> = Gives Operator status to the user }
  if ($1 == ?amode) { msg $chan a <nickname> = Gives Channel Admin to the user }
  if ($1 == ?qmode) { msg $chan q <nickname> = Gives Owner status to the user }
  if ($1 == ?bmode) { msg $chan b <nick!ident@host> = Bans the nick!ident@host from the channel. (Extended bantypes (for more info see /HELPOP EXTBANS)) [h] }
  if ($1 == ?cmode) { msg $chan c = Block messages containing mIRC color codes [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?emode) { msg $chan e <nick!ident@host> = Overrides a ban for matching users [h] } 
  if ($1 == ?Imode) { msg $chan I <nick!ident@host> = Overrides +i for matching users [h] } 
  if ($1 == ?fmode) { msg $chan f <floodparams> = Flood protection (for more info see /HELPOP CHMODEF) [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?imode) { msg $chan i = A user must be invited to join the channel [h] } 
  if ($1 == ?jmode) { msg $chan j <joins:sec> = Throttle joins per-user to 'joins' per 'sec' seconds [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?kmode) { msg $chan k <key> = Users must specify <key> to join [h] } 
  if ($1 == ?lmode) { msg $chan l <number of max users> = Channel may hold at most <number> of users [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?mmode) { msg $chan m = Moderated channel (only +vhoaq users may speak) [h] } 
  if ($1 == ?nmode) { msg $chan n = Users outside the channel can not send PRIVMSGs to the channel [h] } 
  if ($1 == ?pmode) { msg $chan p = Private channel [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?rmode) { msg $chan r = The channel is registered (settable by services only) } 
  if ($1 == ?smode) { msg $chan s = Secret channel [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?tmode) { msg $chan t = Only +hoaq may change the topic [h] } 
  if ($1 == ?zmode) { msg $chan z = Only Clients on a Secure Connection (SSL) can join [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?Amode) { msg $chan A = Server/Net Admin only channel (settable by Admins) } 
  if ($1 == ?Cmode) { msg $chan C = No CTCPs allowed in the channel [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?Gmode) { msg $chan G = Filters out all Bad words in messages with <censored> [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?Mmode) { msg $chan M = Must be using a registered nick (+r), or have voice access to talk [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?Kmode) { msg $chan K = /KNOCK is not allowed [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?Lmode) { msg $chan L <chan2> = Channel link (If +l is full, the next user will auto-join <chan2>) [q] } 
  if ($1 == ?Nmode) { msg $chan N = No Nickname changes are permitted in the channel [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?Omode) { msg $chan O = IRC Operator only channel (settable by IRCops) } 
  if ($1 == ?Qmode) { msg $chan Q = No kicks allowed [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?Rmode) { msg $chan R = Only registered (+r) users may join the channel [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?Smode) { msg $chan S = Strips mIRC color codes [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?Tmode) { msg $chan T = No NOTICEs allowed in the channel [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?Vmode) { msg $chan V = /INVITE is not allowed [o] } 
  if ($1 == ?umode) { msg $chan u = Auditorium mode (/names and /who #channel only show channel ops) [q] } 
}