Random Dirty Little Secret Socket

By napa182 on Aug 26, 2011

This was a request made by shanker on the server I am on. It pulls a random dirty little secret quote from
Dirty Little Secret Web Site . It is a fairly new site so there are not so many quotes yet. It is kinda like the FML sites.

Copy/paste into a new remote of either your bot or your own mIRC.

Warning: Some of the Dirty Little Secrets quotes do contain foul/offensive language. So use in a room where you will not get banned for the use of foul/offensive language.

trigger is @dls
Example:

<~napa182> @dls
<&Masonic> [Random Dirty Little Secret] I'm a 17 year old Male. I was having sex with my girlfriend in a motel room when the smokin' hot maid came in... and joined us! Can't beat my DLS.

I would post more examples, but a lot of the quotes use foul/offensive language.
As always do what ever you want to this snippet IDC...

alias -l dls {
  if (!$($+(%,dls,#),2)) { inc -u4 $+(%,dls,#)
    if ($sock($+(dls,#))) sockclose $+(dls,#)
    sockopen $+(dls,#) www.mydls.me 80
    sockmark $+(dls,#) $+(/index/index.php?currentpage=,$r(1,7))$&
      $r(1,7) msg # [04Random Dirty Little Secret]
  }
}
alias -l dlss return $regsubex($1-,/(&quot;|&amp;)|\46\43(\d+)\73/g,$iif(\1 isnum,$chr(\1),$iif(\1 = &quot;,",&)))
on *:load:{
  echo 07 -a You Have Just Loaded Napa182's Random Dirty Little Secret Socket 
  echo 04 -a An Irc.EzzyChat.com Production 
  echo -a 08!!04WARNING08 This snippet may04/08will say foul04/08offensive language 04WARNING08!!
}
on *:sockopen:dls*: {
  sockwrite -nt $sockname GET $gettok($sock($sockname).mark,1,32) HTTP/1.1
  sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: $+($sock($sockname).addr,$str($crlf,2))
}
on $*:text:/^@dls$/iS:#:dls
on *:input:#:if ($regex($1,/^@dls$/iS)) dls
on *:sockread:dls*: {
  var %dls | sockread %dls
  if ($regex(%dls,/\t{11}<a.+story'>(.+?)<\/p><\/a>/)) { inc -u4 %dlls
    if (%dlls = $gettok($sock($sockname).mark,2,32)) {
      $gettok($sock($sockname).mark,3-,32) $dlss($regml(1))
      sockclose $sockname
    }
  }
}

Comments

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MashhitDK   -  Jun 26, 2012

Yeah... site is down

dma  -  Dec 18, 2015

yeah site is no longer there

Sign in to comment

RIcko   -  Jun 26, 2012

Something is wrong with line 16:

sockwrite -nt $sockname GET $gettok($sock($sockname).mark,1,32) HTTP/1.1

Whenever you typ @dls it echos the bot with this:

/sockwrite: 'dls#bots.echo' not connected (line 16, Dirty-Secrets.ini)

 Respond  
Frenetic   -  Sep 01, 2011

Gets out the video and microphone Get recording Dani_|11, You're not in the clear till you do!

 Respond  
Jethro   -  Sep 01, 2011

You could've fooled people, Dani_l11...since this is all text and stuff. You have to be persuasive enough at some point. :p

 Respond  
Dani_l11   -  Sep 01, 2011

I was kidding, you know that right? You can use a joke (either vain or imaginative) sometimes. ;)

 Respond  
Jethro   -  Sep 01, 2011

Opps, I misinterpreted what you meant by including a comment with a reason why for dislikes. Most people fail to do that, and you know it. lol

 Respond  
Frenetic   -  Sep 01, 2011

Indeed, and he's probably waiting for a stable release(Assuming the latest has, many bugs to be fixed.)

 Respond  
Jethro   -  Sep 01, 2011

Yes, but at the end of the day, it's up to Scott, really. Keep our fingers crossed. I also think it's time we have a phpbb upgrade to the latest version 3.0, too.

 Respond  
Frenetic   -  Sep 01, 2011

@Jethro_, he could implement it so if they dislike they HAVE to comment saying why.

 Respond  
Jethro   -  Sep 01, 2011

Dani_l11, we don't have one, but you can suggest this feature to be implemented by dropping Hawkee a line in his PM or under his profile thread. You may or may not get a reply, depending on site admin's decision and consideration. Currently the dislike feature is to lower someone's rating, and it's been an abusive tool for people to misuse it without offering a reason, mainly out of spite.

 Respond  
Dani_l11   -  Sep 01, 2011

Where's dislike button?!

 Respond  
Jethro   -  Aug 31, 2011

I don't blame you, Frenetic. Some folks lack a sense of humor.

 Respond  
Frenetic   -  Aug 31, 2011

Like this one, Jethro_, made: "RDLS: I got so bored, I went down to the kitchen at 4.32 am And I drank 3 gallons of msn."

This is only a joke, don't take it serious he might shoot me ;x

 Respond  
Jethro   -  Aug 31, 2011

Yup Dani_l11 can use a joke (either vain or imaginative) sometimes. ;)

 Respond  
Frenetic   -  Aug 31, 2011

Dani_|11, it's for laughs. Doesn't matter if its true or not, lol.

 Respond  
Dani_l11   -  Aug 31, 2011

"<&Masonic> [Random Dirty Little Secret] I'm a 17 year old Male. I was having sex with my girlfriend in a motel room when the smokin' hot maid came in... and joined us! Can't beat my DLS." You don't really believe that do you?

 Respond  
Jethro   -  Aug 27, 2011

OK then, the secret is out. :p

 Respond  
napa182   -  Aug 27, 2011

lol Jethro_ well I only posted it as a request from shanker, but thanks for the like. ;x

I will post more when i get some more free time. It just seems harder an harder to have any free time atm.

 Respond  
Jethro   -  Aug 27, 2011

I have a question. Exactly what is Victoria's secret? And exactly what is napa182's dirty little secret of making a socket once in a long while now? :/ Oh..that little, dirty secret in your description is a threesome.

 Respond  
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