This script was made with mIRC v6.35 and has ascii character issues on mIRC 7 and latest versions.
I will try to make a version compatible for the newest mIRC versions. Sorry about that.

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menu * {
  [Goofy Stuff]
  .According to your mom:/say According to your mom7 $$1 $+ , my 9Hulk 6Penis is4 $round($calc($ticks / 3600000),2) inches ( $+ 4 $round($calc($ticks * 2.54 /3600000),2) $+ cm  $+ ) long! Making her unable to walk after sex for4 $uptime(system,1)  $+ . 
  .Chillin:/say 1,1T.===4(((1,1===C | /say 1,1====4(11.1,1=11.4)1,1==l | /say 1,1M==4((1,1=8v1,1=4))1,1=o | /say 1,1B7===8m7=8m7===1,1c | /say 1,1==9,1Just Chillin 1,1=
  .ChillPig:/say 1,1xxx.13/|\../|\1,1xx | /say 1,1xx13,´\/0•1,1=0•13\/`,1x | /say 1,1xx13|1,1.13(1,1.13(ºº)1,1.13)1,1=13|1,1x | /say 1,1xxx13\1,1.13`"^"´1,1.13/1,1xx | /say 1,1xxxx13|1,1.13|-|1,1.13|1,1xxx | /say 1,1xxxx.13W1,1x.13W1,1xxxx | /say 1,1.4CHILL Pig Fucker1,1xxx
  .Duck:/say 1,1...4Quack1.4Time1. | /say 1,1.......8>0(')_, | /say 1,1........0(_~_/1.....= | /say 12,1~~~9 $asctime(h:nn tt) 12~~~ 
  .Elmo:/say 1,1-----0(.)(.)1,1----- | /say 1,1----4/1,1--8()1,1--4\1,1---- | /say 1,1----4\1,1-4'---'1,1-4/1,1---- | /say 1,1-4{*'1,1-4`"""""´1,1-4'*}1,1- | /say 1,1--4`"(1,1------.4)"´1,1-- | /say 1,1----4( )°U°( )1,1---- | /say 1,1---.4´"`1,1---4´"`1,1--- | /say 1,1-.13Tickle this MOFO1,1-- 
  .Floppy:/say 1,1======10/\1,1================ | /say 1,1=====.10//\\1,1===.10/\1,1====== | /say 1,1=====10/´1,1=.10\\1,1==10//\\1,1===== | /say 1,1========10.-'^'-.1,1.10`\1,1===== | /say 1,1======10.´1,1==11º1,1=11º1,1=10`.1,1====== | /say 1,1-------14==1,1--13(¯¯)1,1--14==1,1----- | /say 1,1=======10`. .1,1.4O1,1.10. .´1,1====== | /say 1,1=======10/.`-----´.\1,1======
  .Foot:/say 1,1====8.•••()1=9Don't1== | /say 1,1====8(1===.8)9make me1== | /say 1,1====.8\1==.8/9put my1===== | /say  1,1=====8\__/9 foot in1== | /say 1,1=======9your ass 4!1,1======
  .Frog:/say 1,1===9.0@@9.1== | /say 1,1==|9(1=8_1=9)1== | /say 1,1=9(¯)_\\,\\,1= | /say 1,1=12 Ribbit ! 1=
  .FU:/say  7,1Fu11,1C14,1K Yºu  ª3,1ND 9,1THe 9,1Hº7,1R8,1Se Yºu 7,1Rº3,1De i3,1N º3,1N $$1 9,1!  | /say 1,1.............9,1/ ¯)1,1.............. | /say 1,1............9,1/1,1...9,1/1,1............ | /say 1,1...........9,1/1,1...9,1/1,1........... | /say 1,1.......9,1/¯/1,1...9,1/¯/1,1...... | /say 1,1...9,1/¯/1,1.9,1/1,1....9,1/1,1.9,1/_1,1... | /say 1,1.9,1(1,1..9,1(1,1..9,1(1,1...9,1(1,1..9,1(1,1..9,1)1,1. | /say 1,1..9,1\1,1..............9,1/1,1... | /say 1,1...9,1\1,1............9,1/1,1..... | /say 1,1.....9,1\1,1.........9,1(1,1..... | /say 1,1..=...9,1\1,1........9,1\1,1...........
  .GotMilk:/say 1,1...7,/1,1.............7\,1,1.. | /say 1,1..7((__5,-"""-,7__))1,1. | /say 1,1...7`--5)~1,1..5~(7--`1,1.. | /say 1,1...5,-´(1,1.......5)`-, 1,1. | /say 1,1..5`~~O1,1...O5~~`1,1. | /say 1,1......5(1,1........5) 1,1.... | /say 1,1......5(8ö5___8ö5)1,1..... | /say 1,1.......5`---` 1,1..... | /say 1,1.11?12¿13?8Got Milk13?12¿11?
  .Guinness:/say 1,1..=7[=]1,1.....= | /say 1,1..=7| |1,1====== | /say 1,1...7}@{1,1==== | /say 1,1..7/1,1.....7\1,1..=== | /say 1,1..7|1,1.....7|1,1...== | /say 1,1..7|1,1.....7|Guinness1,1=== | /say 1,1..7|1,1.....7|Stout | /say 1,1..7|___|1,1.....
  .Hip Hop:/say 1,1====13(\1===13(\1======== | /say 1,1=====13\\___//1======== | /say 1,1=9Hip1==13(1201=1201=13)___0*1==== | /say 1,1=9Hop1.15=13(_T_)15=1.==13)1==== | /say 1,1=9Time1=13/1=13/1==13(1==13/1===== | /say 1,1=====13<_<_/-<_<1======  
  .Heineken:/say 1,1..=[=]1,1.....= | /say 1,1..=9| |1,1====== | /say 1,1...9}@{1,1==== | /say 1,1..9/1,1.....9\1,1..=== | /say 1,1..9|1,1.....9|1,1...== | /say 1,1..9|1,1.....9|1,1==4 ★1,1=== | /say 1,1..9|1,1.....9|Heineken | /say 1,1..9|___|1,1.....
  .Lion:/say 1,1===5.~ ~ ~.1=== | /say 1,1==5(1=7o,,,7o1=5)1= | /say 1,1=5(1==5)11.1=11.5(1==5)1== | /say 1,1==5\1=7{1=7v1=7}1=5/1== | /say 1,1===5~1=7'4v7'1=5~1==
  .Lioness:/say 1,1==Eurynome========================= | /say 1,1===7("\-''-/")......--''"`-.1========== | /say 1,1====7`9õ1|1|9õ7)1====|1====7`-....´`)1== | /say 1,1====7(_5Y7_ )1|===7)1====1=7)-.....´1=== | /say 1,1=====0'7--0'7`-._/1=7/---_/1=7/1=========== | /say 1,1====7(((_/1=7(((_/1==7(((_/1=============
  .Nurple:/say 1,1......9_1,1................. | /say 1,1.....9/1.9)1,1.8Nurple1,1..... | /say 1,1....9(1.9(1,1..8time........... | /say 1,1.....9\1.9\1,1....9/1,1.9)1,1.8aka1,1... | /say 1,1.9(ˆˆˆ1..9\_/1.9/1,1..8titty1,1... | /say 1,1..9\1.........9/1,1....8twister1,1... | /say 1,1...9\1.......9/1,1............. | /say 1,1...9/1......9/1,1..............
  .OhRats:/say 1,1....14(\"/)``~.1======= | /say 1,1...14(12o1=12o14)14(1..14(1=14)_____1= | /say 1,1..0-> 130<-14~1.14~"1======= | /say 1,1===8Oh Rats1!!!==
  .Parachute:/say 1,1=====.0.-ˆ-.1==== | /say 1,1====.0(_____)1=== | /say 1,1=====0\1===0/1==== | /say 1,1======0\7☬0/1===== | /say 1,1=====.7´|`1===== | /say 1,1======7_/\_1===== | /say 1,1======9weee1===
  .Puppy:/say 1,1------1-0.-""-.1------ | /say 1,1-----1-0/|11ò0-11ó0|\1----- | /say 1,1-----0{/(_11*0_)\}1---- | /say 1,1------0_/1,1=4v1,1.0\_1----- | /say 1,1-----0(/_/^\_\)-'1-- 
  .Ratfink:/say 1,1==3Nª3Nª3Nª1,1====3Nª3Nª3Nª1,1== |  /say 1,1=====.15,1\|/(¯)_(¯)\|/1,1==== | /say 1,1=====15,1@~1,1=15,1(° o) ~@1,1===== | /say 1,1=====15,1/___(1,1=14,1•1,1=15,1)___\1,1==== | /say 1,1=======4,1/1,1=.0,1`4,1U0,1´1,1=.4,1\1,1======= | /say 1,1======.4,1(1,1======.4,1)1,1====== | /say 1,1=======.4,1`15,1>4,1---15,1<4,1´1,1======= | /say 1,1=======.15,1_\1,1===15,1/_1,1======= | /say 1,1=======..14 B12Lª9H1,1======
  .RIP:/say 1,1======.4(¯)1,1== | /say 1,1=====4(¯)8@4(¯)1,1===== | /say 1,1======.4(¯)1,1==== | /say 1,1======.9\|/1,1== | /say 1,1-=====9\\|//1,1====== | /say 1,1===.7R.I.P. Suck`a1,1==
  .RIP +ban:/say 1,1======.4(¯)1,1== | /say 1,1=====4(¯)8@4(¯)1,1===== | /say 1,1======.4(¯)1,1==== | /say 1,1======.9\|/1,1== | /say 1,1-=====9\\|//1,1====== | /say 1,1===.7R.I.P. Suck`a1,1== | /k $$1 | mode # +b $$1
  .SailBoat:/say 1,1--0¤1,1--0.1,1-----=X=|0)¯¯¯)1====0*1,1====== | /say 1,1----------0)¯¯) )¯¯¯) )1l=0*1,1====== | /say 1,1--0¤1-----0)¯¯¯) )¯¯¯¯))¯)1,1======== | /say 1,1-----0*1- 0)¯¯¯¯)¯¯¯¯¯))¯¯)\1,1====== | /say 1,1------ 0/5__5|____0/5|___|___1,1-0\1----= | /say 1,1-12^^^~~~5\ 8oo oo oo oo 5/-----1,1===== | /say 1,1---12~^^^^ 12~~~~^^~~~~^^~~^^~~~~~~ | /say 1,1--------12~~~~^^~~~~^^~~~~1,1====== | /say 1,18Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
  .Snail:/say 1,1===11â—“ â—“1..8.8--.1....=== | /say 1,1=..jgs9\\8(____)_1==== | /say 1,1=.06/979`~~~~~~~1====
  .SparkThis:/say 1,1=.15,1| |1,1= | /say 1,1=.15,1| |1,1= | /say 1,1=.15,1| |Ƹ̵̨Ʒ1,1= | /say 1,1=.15,1| |//1,1= | /say 1,1=15,1(__)1,1= | /say 1,1=4,1Spark this bowl
  .SparkThis +nick:/say 1,1=.15,1| |1,1= | /say 1,1=.15,1| |1,1= | /say 1,1=.15,1| |Ƹ̵̨Ʒ1,1= | /say 1,1=.15,1| |//1,1= | /say 1,1=15,1(__)1,1= | /say 1,1=4,1Spark this bowl  $$1
  .Thumbs up:/say 1,1===....8(¯0|1,1=========== | /say 1,1===.8___\ \1,1========= | /say 1,1===8(__0()1,1..8`¯¯¯1,1=== | /say 1,1===8(___0()1,1.15Good job1,1===== | /say 1,1===8(__0()1,1=8___1,1.=. | /say 1,1===8(_0()8__/1,1==== 
  .Time Bar:/say 4,1 My Current time 14,1}{ $day $adate $asctime(h:nn tt) 14,1}{
  .Viking:/say 1,1......15,1/1.......15,1\1,1.. | /say 1,1.....15,1((.-""-.))1,1..... | /say 1,1......15,1\(04â—£_04â—¢15,1)/1,1.. | /say 1,1.4Rape and Pillage1,1.......
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