This is similar to the "gaydar" also found here on hawkee. so i give most credits to it. anyways, here is the n00b radar

alias n00bdar {
  var %gaybar = 1
  var %green = $rand(1,100)
  var %red = $calc(100 - %green)
  var %gbar = 9,9
  var %rbar = 4,4
  while (%gaybar <= %green) {
    var %gbar %gbar $+ |
    inc %gaybar
  }
  var %gaybar = 1
  while (%gaybar <= %red) {
    var %rbar %rbar $+ |
    inc %gaybar
  }
  .timer 1 1 describe $active is scanning $nick($active,$nick($active,$1)) using his Radar of n00bs
  .timer 1 2 describe $active %gbar $+ %rbar $+  $nick($active,$nick($active,$1)) is $iif(%green > %red,04 $+ %green $+ %,09 $+ %green $+ %) n00b! 
  .timer 1 3 msg $active $iif(%green > %red,OMFG! That's one big ass n00b!,Wow $+ $chr(44) $nick($active,$nick($active,$1)) isn't that much of a n00b at all!) $+ 
}