[size=18]Usage[/size]
Paste the code below into a Remote file.
Type /myinfo to describe your statistics to the channel.

[size=18]Info[/size]
I searched and I saw a few kind of similar snippets but none that were quite the same (and I didn't see a multi-server one but maybe I just fail at searching) so I decided I'd submit this. I left out half-op count because I'm not half-opped anywhere (and 3/4 of the servers I use don't have half-ops anyhow) but if you all think I should add it I could easily.

[size=18]Comments[/size]
I couldn't think of anything else to add but if you have a suggestion please let me know, thanks.
Also I haven't really used scon before so if there is a better/easier way of doing something like this let me know as well.

alias myinfo {
  set %info.totalchannels 0
  set %info.opchannels 0
  set %info.voicechannels 0
  set %info.query 0
  scon -a gatherinfo
  describe $active is in %info.totalchannels channel $+ $iif(%info.totalchannels != 1,s,) on $scon(0) server $+ $iif($scon(0) != 1,s,) $+ .  $&
    Opped in %info.opchannels channel $+ $iif(%info.opchannels != 1,s,) and voiced in %info.voicechannels channel $+ $iif(%info.voicechannels != 1,s,) $+ .  $&
    %info.query quer $+ $iif(%info.query != 1,ies,y) open.  Running mIRC version $version for $dur($uptime(mirc,3)) $+ .
  unset %info.*
}

alias gatherinfo { 
  var %x = $chan(0)
  set %info.query $calc(%info.query + $query(0))
  while %x {
    inc %info.totalchannels
    if ($me isop $chan(%x)) inc %info.opchannels
    if ($me isvoice $chan(%x)) inc %info.voicechannels
    dec %x
  }
}

alias dur {
  return $replace($duration($1),wk,$chr(32) $+ week,day,$chr(32) $+ day,hr,$chr(32) $+ hour,min,$chr(32) $+ minute,sec,$chr(32) $+ second)
}