Its a fun script, asfaik its all sceintificly correct too :D

    menu nicklist {
    jslap:/jslap $1-
    }
    alias jslap {
      set %newr1 $r(1,1500)
      set %newr2 $r(1,15000)
      set %newt $rand(30,600)
      set %newa $calc((( %newc )) / 9.81)
      set %newf $calc( %newr2  / %newt )
      set %newv $calc(9.81* %newf)
      set %news $calc( %newr1 * %newf)
      set %newi $calc( %newr1 * %newf )
      set %newj $calc(( %newr1 + %news ) + %newi )
      set %newc $calc(( %nwewj / 102 ) * %newr2 )
      if ( $calc( %newi *9.81) >= %newrec) {
        msg $chan New record! Old record by %newrnick with an impact force of %newrec newton
        set %newrec  $calc( %newi *9.81)
        set %newrnick $1
      }
      describe $chan throws a  $bytes(%newr1,b) kg trout at $1-  from $bytes( %newr2 ,b) meters using $bytes( %newj ,b) joules, crossing the distance in $duration( %newt , 1) going with an average speed of $bytes( %newf ,b) ( $+ %newf $+ ) m/s $bytes($calc( %newf / 0.2778), b) ( $+ $calc( %newf / 0.2778) $+ ) km/h with an impact power of $bytes( %newi , b) ( $+ %newi $+ ) Newton. You can light a 60watt light bulb for $duration($calc(( %newv + ( %newi + %news))  / 60), 1) with the energy used to throw the $bytes(%newr1,b) kg trout at $1- $+ . Rec: $bytes( %newrec ,b) newton by %newrnick
    }