!BroCode bot script

By TehJibba on May 31, 2009

This is my second bot script and is a rather fun one. Put this in your bots remotes and when a user types !brocode it will randomly choose from the 150 BroCodes. This is a complete list of all 150 Bro Codes. Credits to razorewire901 for the idea. Any comments suggestions are welcome.

P.S. Before anyone comments on the spelling, reffer to Article 72 of the Bro Code ;)

on *:TEXT:*:#: {
  if ($1 == !brocode) {
    set %bro $rand(1,150)
    if (%bro == 1) msg $chan 04THE GOLDEN RULE (Article 1): 14Bros before hoes. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.
    if (%bro == 2) msg $chan 04Article 2: 14A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are doing it.
    if (%bro == 3) msg $chan 04Article 3: 14If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown.
    if (%bro == 4) msg $chan 04Article 4: 14A Bro never divulges the existence of the Bro Code to a woman. It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason...no, not even that reason.
    if (%bro == 5) msg $chan 04Article 5: 14Whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports.
    if (%bro == 6) msg $chan 04Article 6: 14A Bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of other Bros in a gym locker room.
    if (%bro == 7) msg $chan 04Article 7: 14A Bro never admits he can't drive stick. Even after an accident.
    if (%bro == 8) msg $chan 04Article 8: 14A Bro never sends a greeting card to another Bro.
    if (%bro == 9) msg $chan 04Article 9: 14Should a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow Bros will not make lame jokes such as "Gimme three!" or "Wow, quitting your job like that really took a lot of ball." It's still a high five that Bro still has a lot of balls...metaphorically speaking, of course.
    if (%bro == 10) msg $chan 04Article 10: 14A Bro will drop whatever he's doing and rush to help his Bro dump a chick.
    if (%bro == 11) msg $chan 04Article 11: 14A Bro may ask his Bro(s) to help him move, but only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large pieces of furniture. If the Bro has vastly underestimated either, his Bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are-in most cases,stuck in a doorway.
    if (%bro == 12) msg $chan 04Article 12: 14Bros do not share dessert.
    if (%bro == 13) msg $chan 04Article 13: 14All Bros shall dub one of their Bros his wingman.
    if (%bro == 14) msg $chan 04Article 14: 14If a chick inquires about another Bro's sexual history, a Bro shall honor the Brode Of Silence and play dumb. Better to have women think all men are stupid than to tell the truth.
    if (%bro == 15) msg $chan 04Article 15: 14A Bro never dances with his hands above his head.
    if (%bro == 16) msg $chan 04Article 16: 14A Bro should be able, at any time, to recite the following reigning champions: Super Bowl, World Series and Playmate of the Year.
    if (%bro == 17) msg $chan 04Article 17: 14A Bro shall be kind and courteous to his co-workers, unless they are beneath him on the Pyramid of Screaming.
    if (%bro == 18) msg $chan 04Article 18: 14If a Bro spearheads a beer run at a party, he is entitle to an excess money accrued after canvassing the group.
    if (%bro == 19) msg $chan 04Article 19: 14A Bro shall not sleep with another Bro's sister. However, a Bro shall not get angry if another Bro says "Bro, your sister's hot!"
    if (%bro == 20) msg $chan 04Article 20: 14A Bro respects his Bros in the military because they've selflessly chosen to defend the nation, but  more to the point, because they can kick his ass six ways to Sunday.
    if (%bro == 21) msg $chan 04Article 21: 14A Bro never shares observations about another Bro's smoking-hot girlfriends. Even if the Bro with the hot girlfriend attempts to bait the Bro by sayin, "She;s smoking-hot,huh?" a Bro shall remain silent, because in this situation, he's the only one who should be baiting.
    if (%bro == 22) msg $chan 04Article 22: 14There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro.
    if (%bro == 23) msg $chan 04Article 23: 14When flipping through TV channels with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip past a program featuring boobs. This includes, but is not limited to, exercise shows, womens's athletics, and on some occasions, surgery programs.
    if (%bro == 24) msg $chan 04Article 24: 14When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o'clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.
    if (%bro == 25) msg $chan 04Article 25: 14A Bro doesn't let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girl's name.
    if (%bro == 26) msg $chan 04Article 26: 14Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.
    if (%bro == 27) msg $chan 04Article 27: 14A Bro never removes his shirt in front of other Bros, unless at a resort pool or the beach.
    if (%bro == 28) msg $chan 04Article 28: 14A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight.
    if (%bro == 29) msg $chan 04Article 29: 14If two Bros decide to catch a movie together, they may not attend a screening that begins after 4:40PM. Also, despite the cost savings, they shall not split a tub of popcorn, choosing instead to procure individual bags.
    if (%bro == 30) msg $chan 04Article 30: 14A Bro doesn't comparison shop.
    if (%bro == 31) msg $chan 04Article 31: 14When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know.
    if (%bro == 32) msg $chan 04Article 32: 14A Bro doesn't all another Bro to get married until he's at least thirty.
    if (%bro == 33) msg $chan 04Article 33: 14When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the  obligatory comment, "What is this, a chicks' restroom?" if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to shoot his used paper towel into trash can like a basketball...rebounding is optional.
    if (%bro == 34) msg $chan 04Article 34: 14Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil's threeway. (Two Bros)
    if (%bro == 35) msg $chan 04Article 35: 14A Bro never rents a chick flick.
    if (%bro == 36) msg $chan 04Article 36: 14When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts.
    if (%bro == 37) msg $chan 04Article 37: 14A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If a woman insist on having their own  professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. Honestly, they're not that heavy.
    if (%bro == 38) msg $chan 04Article 38: 14Even in a fight to the death, a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.
    if (%bro == 39) msg $chan 04Article 39: 14When a Bro gets a chick's number, he waits at least ninety-six hours before calling her.
    if (%bro == 40) msg $chan 04Article 40: 14Should a Bro become stricken with engagement, his Bros shall stage an intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly know as "a bachelor party."
    if (%bro == 41) msg $chan 04Article 41: 14A Bro never cries.   !Exceptions: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T. or a sports legend retires.
    if (%bro == 42) msg $chan 04Article 42: 14Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or a Bro hug, but never a full embrace.
    if (%bro == 43) msg $chan 04Article 43: 14A Bro loves his country, unless that country isn't America.
    if (%bro == 44) msg $chan 04Article 44: 14A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro.
    if (%bro == 45) msg $chan 04Article 45: 14A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club.
    if (%bro == 46) msg $chan 04Article 46: 14If a Bro is seated next to some dude who's stuck in the middle seat on an airplan, he shall yield him all of their shared armrest, unless the dude has (a) taken his shoes off, (b) is snoring, (c) makes the Bro get up more than once to use the lavatory, or (d) purchased headphones after they announced the in-flight movie is 27 Dresses, See articles 35.
    if (%bro == 47) msg $chan 04Article 47: 14A Bro never wears pink. Not even in Europe.
    if (%bro == 48) msg $chan 04Article 48: 14A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he or another Bro has banged.
    if (%bro == 49) msg $chan 04Article 49: 14When asked, "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically respond, "I got it," whether or not he's actually got it. !Exceptions: Carrying an expensive TV, parallel parking and expensive car, or loading and expensive TV into an expensive car.
    if (%bro == 50) msg $chan 04Article 50: 14If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro's undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.
    if (%bro == 51) msg $chan 04Article 51: 14A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back with a thunbs-up or thumbs-down.
    if (%bro == 52) msg $chan 04Article 52: 14A Bro is not required to remember another Bro's birthday, though a phone call every now and again probably wouldn't kill him.
    if (%bro == 53) msg $chan 04Article 53: 14Even in a drought, a Bro flushes twice.
    if (%bro == 54) msg $chan 04Article 54: 14A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Patty's Day and other official Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Year's Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13).
    if (%bro == 55) msg $chan 04Article 55: 14Even in an emergency that requires a tourniquet, a Bro never borrows from or lends clothes to another Bro.
    if (%bro == 56) msg $chan 04Article 56: 14A Bro is required to alert another Bro is the Bro/Chick Ratio at a praty falls below 1:1. However, to avoid Broflation, a Bro is only allowed to alert on Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the  anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a party or a venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.
    if (%bro == 57) msg $chan 04Article 57: 14A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that Bro has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it.
    if (%bro == 58) msg $chan 04Article 58: 14A Bro doesn't grow a mustache. !Exceptions: Tom Selleck.
    if (%bro == 59) msg $chan 04Article 59: 14A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it's out of state or, like, crazy expensive.
    if (%bro == 60) msg $chan 04Article 60: 14A Bro shall honor thy father and mother, for they were once Bro and chick. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.
    if (%bro == 61) msg $chan 04Article 61: 14If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make this information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.
    if (%bro == 62) msg $chan 04Article 62: 14In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both  dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the  number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven't purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they're the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Shoudl the dry spells be of equal length, a game os discreet Broshambo shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.
    if (%bro == 63) msg $chan 04Article 63: 14A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro with protection.
    if (%bro == 64) msg $chan 04Article 64: 14A Bro must provide his Bro with a ticket to and event if said event involves the latter Bro's favorite sports team in a playoff scenario.
    if (%bro == 65) msg $chan 04Article 65: 14A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks among Bros. !Exceptions: A Bro is off the hook if his Bro orders a drink that arrives with an umbrella in it.
    if (%bro == 66) msg $chan 04Article 66: 14If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, his Bro shall offer no more than a "that sucks,bro" and copious quantities of beer. To eliminate the  possibility of any awkward moments in the future, his Bros shall also refrain for any pejorative commentary-deserved or not-regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite backslide window has fully closed.
    if (%bro == 67) msg $chan 04Article 67: 14Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.
    if (%bro == 68) msg $chan 04Article 68: 14If a Bro be on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own personal records, the missing of work, or, if necessary, generating a realistic fear that the end of the world is imminent. !Exceptions: Dry spell trumps hot streak.
    if (%bro == 69) msg $chan 04Article 69: 14Duh.
    if (%bro == 70) msg $chan 04Article 70: 14A Bro will drive another Bro to the airport or pick him up, but never both for the same trip. He is not expected to be on time, help with luggage, or inquire about his Bro's trip or general well-being.
    if (%bro == 71) msg $chan 04Article 71: 14As a courtesy to Bros the world over, a Bro never brings more than two other Bros to a party.
    if (%bro == 72) msg $chan 04Article 72: 14A Bro never spell-checks.
    if (%bro == 73) msg $chan 04Article 73: 14When a group of Bros are in a restaurant, each shall engage in the time-honored ritual of jockeying to pay the bill, regardless of affordability. When the group ultimately decides to divide the check, each Bro shal act upset rather than enormously relieved.
    if (%bro == 74) msg $chan 04Article 74: 14At a red light, a Bro inches as close as possible to the rear bumper of the car in front of him, and  immediately honks his horn when the light turns green. That way, if another Bro is several cars behind, he'll have a better chance of making it through the intersection before the light turns red again.
    if (%bro == 75) msg $chan 04Article 75: 14A Bro automatically enhances another Bro's job description when introducing him to a chick.
    if (%bro == 76) msg $chan 04Article 76: 14If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say "I love you," he shall first excuse himself from the room or emply a subsonic, Barry White-esque tone.
    if (%bro == 77) msg $chan 04Article 77: 14Bros don't cuddle. !Exceptions: NONE!
    if (%bro == 78) msg $chan 04Article 78: 14A Bro shall never rack jack's his wingman.
    if (%bro == 79) msg $chan 04Article 79: 14At a wedding, Bros shall reluctantly trudge out for the garter toss and feign interest for the benefit of the chicks present. Whichever Bro gets stuck with the garter shall lightheartedly pretend he's not horrified at the thought of being the next one to drop before scurrying to the bar for a very stiff  drink and/or shots.
    if (%bro == 80) msg $chan 04Article 80: 14A Bro shall make every effort to aid another Bro in riding the tricycle, short of completing the tricycle himself.
    if (%bro == 81) msg $chan 04Article 81: 14A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.
    if (%bro == 82) msg $chan 04Article 82: 14If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says something out of line, the other not expect him to "take it back" or "apologize" to make amends. That's inhuman.
    if (%bro == 83) msg $chan 04Article 83: 14A Bro shall, at all costs, honor the Platinum Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever "love" thy neighbor. In particular, a Bro shall never mix it up romantically with a co-worker. !Exceptions: (1) Co-worker is an eight or better. (2) You are co-worker's superior. (3) Co-worker dresses a little slutty. (4) Company recently sued for sexual harassment-unlikely to happen again. (6) You are switching floors soon. (7) You and co-worker get stuck in elevator.
    if (%bro == 84) msg $chan 04Article 84: 14A Bro shall stop whatever he's doing and watch Die Hard, The Shawshank Redemption, Top Gun, The Big Lebowski, the first half of Full Metal Jacket, or porn if it's on TV.
    if (%bro == 85) msg $chan 04Article 85: 14If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros.
    if (%bro == 86) msg $chan 04Article 86: 14When a Bro meets a chick, he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.
    if (%bro == 87) msg $chan 04Article 87: 14A Bro never questions another Bro's stated golf score, maximum bench press, or height. He can, however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of a wager.
    if (%bro == 88) msg $chan 04Article 88: 14If a Bro, for whatever reason, must drive another Bro's car, he shall not adjust the preprogrammed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position, even if this last requirement results in the Bro trying to drive the vehicle as a giant praying mantis would.
    if (%bro == 89) msg $chan 04Article 89: 14A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro.
    if (%bro == 90) msg $chan 04Article 90: 14A Bro shows up at another Bro's party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink. So if a Bro plans on chugging a six-pack, he shall bring a six-pack plus at least one can of beer. If the party sucks and/or there are too many dude, the Bro is entitled to leave with his alcohol, though etiquette dictates he should wait until nobody is looking.
    if (%bro == 91) msg $chan 04Article 91: 14If a group of Bros suspect that their Bro is trying to give himself a nickname, they shall rally to call him by an adjacent yet more demeaning nickname.
    if (%bro == 92) msg $chan 04Article 92: 14A Bro keeps his booty calls at a safe distance.
    if (%bro == 93) msg $chan 04Article 93: 14Bros don't speak French to one another.
    if (%bro == 94) msg $chan 04Article 94: 14If a Bro is in a bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees.
    if (%bro == 95) msg $chan 04Article 95: 14A Bro shall alert another Bro to the presence of a chesty woman, regardless of whether or not he knows the Bro. Such alerts may not be administered verbally.
    if (%bro == 96) msg $chan 04Article 96: 14Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least attempt to start a fire. !Note: Attempt to start a fire outside.
    if (%bro == 97) msg $chan 04Article 97: 14Where a Bro went to college is going to kick his Bro's college's ass all over the field this weekend.
    if (%bro == 98) msg $chan 04Article 98: 14A Bro never lies to his Bros about the hotness of chicks at a given social venue or event.
    if (%bro == 99) msg $chan 04Article 99: 14A Bro never asks for directions when lost.
    if (%bro == 100) msg $chan 04Article 100: 14When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection.
    if (%bro == 101) msg $chan 04Article 101: 14If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave. This is what makes them Bros, not chicks.
    if (%bro == 102) msg $chan 04Article 102: 14A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wingman.
    if (%bro == 103) msg $chan 04Article 103: 14A Bro never wears socks with sandals. He commits to one cohesive footgear plan and sticks with it.
    if (%bro == 104) msg $chan 04Article 104: 14The mom of a Bro is always off-limits. But the stepmom is a Bro is fair game if she initiates and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing...provided she looks good in it...but not if she smokes menthol cigarettes.
    if (%bro == 105) msg $chan 04Article 105: 14If a Bro is not invited to another Bro's wedding, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, even if, let's face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up the couple and had already picked out the perfect wedding gift and everything. It's cool. No big whoop.
    if (%bro == 106) msg $chan 04Article 106: 14Given an option on quantity when ordering a beer with his Bros, a Bro always selects the largest size available or shall never hear the end of it that night.
    if (%bro == 107) msg $chan 04Article 107: 14A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging.
    if (%bro == 108) msg $chan 04Article 108: 14If a Bro forgets a guy's name, he may call him "brah," "dude," or "man," but never "Bro."
    if (%bro == 109) msg $chan 04Article 109: 14When Bros attend a sporting event and see themselves on the JumboTron, they shall purse their lips and flex their biceps while informing the crowd that their team is number one, despite any objective rankings to the contrary.
    if (%bro == 110) msg $chan 04Article 110: 14If a Bro is hitting it off with a chick, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome.
    if (%bro == 111) msg $chan 04Article 111: 14If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email, the Bro will sign out for him, but only after first sending a few angry emails to random contacts and then deleting all sent messages.
    if (%bro == 112) msg $chan 04Article 112: 14A Bro doesn't sing along to music in a bar. !Exception : A Bro may participate in karaoke. !!Exception To Exception: No chick songs.
    if (%bro == 113) msg $chan 04Article 113: 14A Bro abides by the accepted age-diffrence formula when pursuing a younger chick !Formula: x< or = to y/2+7     x= chick's age; y= Bro's age
    if (%bro == 114) msg $chan 04Article 114: 14If a Bro must crash on his Bro's couch for an extended period of time, he shall offer to split the cost of toilet paper and the cable bill if said period exceeds two weeks. If he stays longer than a month, he shall offer to contribute some rent. If he stays longer than two months, he shall steam clean the couch or have it incinerated, whichever is more applicable.
    if (%bro == 115) msg $chan 04Article 115: 14A "clothing optional" beach doesn't really mean "clothing optional" for Bros.
    if (%bro == 116) msg $chan 04Article 116: 14A Bro shall not kill another Bro or a Bro's chances to score with a chick.
    if (%bro == 117) msg $chan 04Article 117: 14A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control. If another Bro desires a channel change, he may verbally request one or engage in the fool's errand of getting up to manually change the channel.
    if (%bro == 118) msg $chan 04Article 118: 14When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian.
    if (%bro == 119) msg $chan 04Article 119: 14When three Bros must share the backseat of a car, it is unacceptable for any Bro to put his arm around another Bro to increase space. Likewise, it is unacceptable for two Bros to share a motorcycle, unless said motorcycle is equipped with a sidecar...a Brotorcycle.
    if (%bro == 120) msg $chan 04Article 120: 14A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name.
    if (%bro == 121) msg $chan 04Article 121: 14Even if he's never skied before, a Bro doesn't trifle with the bunny slope.
    if (%bro == 122) msg $chan 04Article 122: 14A Bro is always psyches. Always.
    if (%bro == 123) msg $chan 04Article 123: 14Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor,even when reenacting the knife fight from "Beat It," which, I guess, two Bros shouldn't do anyway, or at least not very often.
    if (%bro == 124) msg $chan 04Article 124: 14If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing baseball, or throw a gutter ball while Browling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for himself.
    if (%bro == 125) msg $chan 04Article 125: 14If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in a Bro Train, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.
    if (%bro == 126) msg $chan 04Article 126: 14In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, on Bro is  forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high-five, the fist bump, or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.
    if (%bro == 127) msg $chan 04Article 127: 14A Bro will always help another Bro reconstruct the events from the previous night, unless those events entail hooking up with an ugly chick or the Bro repeatedly saying "I love you, man" to all his Bros.
    if (%bro == 128) msg $chan 04Article 128: 14A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same school name, vacation destination, or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency, it's preferred that a Bro go out half naked rather than  violate this code...half naked from the waist up, naturally.
    if (%bro == 129) msg $chan 04Article 129: 14If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.
    if (%bro == 130) msg $chan 04Article 130: 14If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.
    if (%bro == 131) msg $chan 04Article 131: 14While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he needs to consult the car's ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so from inside the car, where he is not visible to passerby and where he can discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hide the jack by the side of the road so he'll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck arrives.
    if (%bro == 132) msg $chan 04Article 132: 14If a Bro decides to let all of his Bros down and get married, he is required to invite them to the wedding, even if this directly violates the wishes of his fiancee and results in a "no sex" penalty or whatever lame domestic punishment couples might employ.
    if (%bro == 133) msg $chan 04Article 133: 14A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro. !Exception: "Pull my finger."
    if (%bro == 134) msg $chan 04Article 134: 14A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman.
    if (%bro == 135) msg $chan 04Article 135: 14If a scenario arises in which a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copilot: (1) foot race to the car, (2) silent auction, or in the case of a road trip exceeding 450 miles, (3) a no-holds-barred cage match to the death.
    if (%bro == 136) msg $chan 04Article 136: 14When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer nothing more than an uninterested "It was okay."
    if (%bro == 137) msg $chan 04Article 137: 14When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros. !The Pizza Equation: P=3b/8   p= number of pizzas(rounded up to the nearest integer)   b = number of Bros(including yourself)
    if (%bro == 138) msg $chan 04Article 138: 14A real Bro doesn't laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin.
    if (%bro == 139) msg $chan 04Article 139: 14Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that, yes, "Broadway" begins with "Bro."
    if (%bro == 140) msg $chan 04Article 140: 14A Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date. (aka. The Lemon Law)
    if (%bro == 141) msg $chan 04Article 141: 14A Bro can only get a manicure if (a) he's trying to sleep with the hot Asian woman performing the  manicure, or (b) it's been longer than a month since his last manicure. It's called the Bro code, not the Slob Code.
    if (%bro == 142) msg $chan 04Article 142: 14A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.
    if (%bro == 143) msg $chan 04Article 143: 14When executing a high five, a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers or grasping his Bro's hand.
    if (%bro == 144) msg $chan 04Article 144: 14It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it's still unavoidable, they shall prevent and accidental spoonage by arm wrestling to determine who sleeps under the covers. Once decided, each Bro shall don as many lower layers as possible before silently fist bumping the other Bro good night.
    if (%bro == 145) msg $chan 04Article 145: 14A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text, or email in a timely fashion.  
    if (%bro == 146) msg $chan 04Article 146: 14A Bro refrains from usuing too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his Bros.  
    if (%bro == 147) msg $chan 04Article 147: 14If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro's back. 
    if (%bro == 148) msg $chan 04Article 148: 14A Bro doesn't listen to chick music...in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro may listen to,say, a Sarah McLachlan album or two, but only to gain valuable insights into the female psyche, not because he finds her melodies tragically haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.
    if (%bro == 149) msg $chan 04Article 149: 14A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars.
    if (%bro == 150) msg $chan 04Article 150: 14No sex with your Bro's ex.  


Sign in to comment.
Woatee   -  Nov 09, 2022


dma   -  Oct 31, 2015

this is good ...love it

MashhitDK   -  May 23, 2010

ooO( I'm still a total NUB to this IRC scripting xD )

I appreciate it...

  • Really do...

I've added so you can send a random quote also... and
made it so My bot spits out a new line every hour after you activate it
ooO( I activated it on 4.20 :P )

TehJibba   -  May 23, 2010

ahhh the heady days of being n00b still :D so sloppy but meh. it worked atleast. glad it brought some fun to a few of you :D

MashhitDK   -  May 22, 2010

Hehe :P

TehJibba   -  May 22, 2010

lol cant believe this thing is still active. :P

MashhitDK   -  May 14, 2010

This is awesome :D

BIG THANKs Jibberish :D

Jethro   -  Mar 31, 2010

Oh yeah you're correct. I guess whoever wrong those bro codes decided not to be a bro when he got to article 62. :/ Then he simply jumped to article 200 as an excuse to take the easy way out.

napa182   -  Mar 31, 2010

lol i know ur code is working but i still have yet got a article from 63-199.

the only thing i see on that site after 62 is 200 no 63-199

Jethro   -  Mar 31, 2010

lol Napa182, this is funny. I missed your post above that you actually found that site before I did. I was using this link to get what I want:

/thecode.cgi?limit=NUMBER&curpage=NUMBER&perpage=NUMBERThe three digits (which I mark in red above) are the ones I use $r() to randomize the output. Upon testing, my socket code is working as intended.

napa182   -  Mar 31, 2010

Jethro_ that site goes from 1-62 then jumps to 200 there is no 63-199

thats why i made it do 1-62

blackvenomm666   -  Mar 31, 2010

very nicely done jethro i need to learn sockets eventually haha i dont understand the help file on them

Jethro   -  Mar 31, 2010

Yes, as Blackvenomm666 said. Guitar, there is a site I've just found at www.brocode.co.uk
I then write up a socket script to fetch a message (there are 200 bro code articles there) from the website:

on *:text:$($strip(!brocode)):#: {
  if (!%f) { set -z %f 5 | $iif($sock(b),sockclose b)
  sockopen b thebrocode.co.uk 80 | sockmark b .msg # }
on *:sockopen:b: {
  var %b sockwrite -nt $sockname
  %b get $+(/thecode.cgi?limit=,$r(0,50),&curpage=,$r(1,6),&perpage=10) http/1.1 
  %b host: thebrocode.co.uk | %b $crlf
on *:sockread:b: {
  var %r /<a href=\42thecode.cgi\77article=\d+\42>(.*)</a></div>/, %s | sockread %s
  if ($regex(%s,%r)) { $replace($sock(b).mark $regml(1),&#39;,') | sockclose $sockname }

This will output a random bro code to the channel from 1 through 200 :-) People can only command the script every 5 seconds to prevent abuse.

blackvenomm666   -  Mar 31, 2010

there is a site for basically anything you can think of

GuitarMasterx7   -  Mar 31, 2010

yea thats true
the recieving the msg from site.
but i never knew that there was a brocode site or wouldve
ever thought of there to be one lol

Jethro   -  Mar 30, 2010

Yeah well, using text file is a good choice. And If I had to use it, I'd do it with:

on *:text:$($strip(!brocode)):#:.play -r # bro.txt 2000

Rather than just using:> msg # $read(bro.txt)
The -r switch will force mirc to play a message randomly. I like the fact that it uses a timer delay and it's adjustable. In the above example, I set it to 2000 milliseconds, which is a 2 second delay.

Put all the messages as such in a text file called bro.txt line by line:> 04THE GOLDEN RULE (Article 1): 14Bros before hoes. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.
04Article 2: 14A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are doing it.
04Article 3: 14If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown.
04Article 4: 14A Bro never divulges the existence of the Bro Code to a woman. It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason...no, not even that reason.But I don't like to store a text file and increase its size over time by adding more messages. I tend to favor the use of sockets to fetch a random line from a site and output it in a channel.

GuitarMasterx7   -  Mar 30, 2010

i knows
i was really asking u a question if that was a better choice or not

Jethro   -  Mar 30, 2010

I was putting my two cents in based on what blackvenomm666 provided...

GuitarMasterx7   -  Mar 30, 2010

Jethro_ wouldnt this be better in a txt file
using $read()

but i guess

$read $mircdir\text\brocode.txt 

is same thing jus not direct lol

oh WorldDMT suggested it...
didnt read his suggestions =o

montague   -  Mar 29, 2010

napa182 FTW! \m/ tyvm /b/ro :D

Jethro   -  Mar 29, 2010

Blackvenomm666, you can use:

On *:Text:$($strip(!Brocode)):#:{ 
msg # 4,1 $read $mircdir\text\brocode.txt 

if you don't want to lengthen the script with the $1 identifier.

blackvenomm666   -  Mar 29, 2010

could also just store the codes in a txt file then have it read from the txt file ex.
On :Text::#:{ If ($Strip($1) == !Brocode) {
msg # 4,1 $read $mircdir\text\brocode.txt
just saves a lot of lines

napa182   -  Mar 29, 2010
on $*:text:/^@bro\s(\d+)$/iS:#: {
  if ($regml(1) isnum 1-62) {
    if ($hget(bro)) hfree bro
    if ($sock(bro)) sockclose bro
    sockopen bro www.thebrocode.co.uk 80
    set -u4 %w $+(/<a href=.+article=,$regml(1),">(Article.+)<\/a><\/div>/)
    sockmark bro $+(/thecode.cgi?search=,$regml(1)) msg # 
on *:sockopen:bro: {
  sockwrite -nt $sockname GET $gettok($sock(bro).mark,1,32) HTTP/1.1
  sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: $+(www.thebrocode.co.uk,$str($crlf,2))
on *:sockread:bro: {
  var %bro | sockread %bro
  if ($regex(%bro,%w)) {
    hadd -m bro say $remove($regsubex($regml(1),/&#(\d+);/g,$chr(\1)),<b>,</b>)
    $gettok($sock(bro).mark,2-3,32) $gettok($hget(bro,say),1-60,32) 
    $iif($gettok($hget(bro,say),61-,32),$gettok($sock(bro).mark,2-3,32) $v1) 
    sockclose bro
montague   -  Mar 29, 2010

Could somebody remake napa182 socket script for the brocode from other website? because i just found it and it doesn't work. D'uh!

uneek   -  Jun 10, 2009

Obviously could be written better, but it has been great fun in our channel.


ES   -  Jun 10, 2009

so liek
awsm skript is awsm

though i did go with making a .txt file instead

Jonesy44   -  Jun 05, 2009

Then take the first piece of advice.

_Daniel_   -  Jun 04, 2009

if i was you, i'd shut up & learn.
Jonesy44, napa182 cant teach me nothing, I can learn by myself

Jonesy44   -  Jun 03, 2009
if (%bro == 53) msg $chan 04Article 53: 14Even in a drought, a Bro flushes twice.

lolololol ><

miniCruzer   -  Jun 02, 2009

Don't let them get you down. I feel ya. It's a good idea, just needs a bit of tweaking. The only thing that concerns me with this particular build is it's putting out 150 lines in a short amount of time. Being this an .ini retrieving the data will lag after 20 lines. It also becomes a threat to flooding. I recommend hash tables. Much quicker, could still flood.

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