a joke dialog

dialog jokes {
  title "-= JoKe MaNaGeR v1.0 =-"
  size -1 -1 138 86
  option dbu
  text "Welcome to jokes manager, please note that this will not work unless you have clicked on the LOAD JOKES button that loads all the jokes.", 1, 2 1 135 22
  button "Load Jokes", 2, 22 30 37 12
  button "Random Joke", 3, 59 30 37 12
  button "Open Jokes", 6, 47 42 37 12
  button "Contact BoX", 7, 10 42 37 12
  button "Quit Script", 8, 59 54 37 12, cancel
  button "Visit My Site", 10, 84 42 37 12
  button "Unload Jokes", 14, 22 54 37 12
}
on *:dialog:jokes:sclick:2:{ 
  if (%randomjokes == on) { echo -a -= You have already loaded the jokes =- | halt }
  else {
    set %randomjokes on
    write randomjokes.txt Windows 2000 Error Message : Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
    write randomjokes.txt Windows 2000 Error Message : Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
    write randomjokes.txt Windows 2000 Error Message : This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
    write randomjokes.txt Windows 2000 Error Message : BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
    write randomjokes.txt Windows 2000 Error Message : Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
    write randomjokes.txt Windows 2000 Error Message : Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
    write randomjokes.txt Windows 2000 Error Message : Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
    write randomjokes.txt IRC Addict : someone at work tells you a joke, and you say "ROTFLOL!"
    write randomjokes.txt IRC Addict : you have ever had a dream about the people in your channels.
    write randomjokes.txt IRC Addict : you leave the computer on just to see the mIRC logo!
    write randomjokes.txt IRC Addict : your friend Susan tells you something sad on the phone and you say "Awwww, /me hugs Susan.
    write randomjokes.txt Freak : - Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on     the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in.  If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
    write randomjokes.txt Freak : - Get some hair.  Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep.  Keep a pair of scissors by your bed.  Snicker at your roommate every morning.
    write randomjokes.txt Freak : - Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray!  You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?
    write randomjokes.txt Freak : - Trash the room when your roommate's not around.  Then leave and wait for your roommate to come back.  When he/she does, walk in and act surprised.  Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again."
    write randomjokes.txt Freak : - Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick him/her in the stomach.  Then buy him/her some ice cream.
    write randomjokes.txt I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to cook them.
    write randomjokes.txt This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"
    write randomjokes.txt A blonde walked into a hardware store, picked up the hinges she was looking for, and went to go pay for them.  The clerk asked her,"Need a screw for those hinges?" "No, but how about a blow job for the shovel in the back?"
    write randomjokes.txt Another blonde sent a post card home: "Having a wonderful time....Where am I?"
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde that was so stupid that she played third string at a car wash?
    write randomjokes.txt How is a blonde like a Hairdryer?   Turn her on and she starts to blow.
    write randomjokes.txt How is a blonde like a Vaccum Cleaner?  Turn her on and she starts to suck.
    write randomjokes.txt How is a blonde like a Light Switch?  Even a six year old can turn her on.
    write randomjokes.txt Blonde Medical Terminology : A : Anally -- occurring yearly, Artery -- study of paintings.
    write randomjokes.txt Blonde Medical Terminology : B : Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria, Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails, Benign -- what you be after you be eight, Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
    write randomjokes.txt Blonde Medical Terminology : C : Caesarian section -- district in Rome, Cat scan -- searching for kitty, Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her, Colic -- sheep dog, Coma -- a punctuation mark, Congenital -- friendly
    write randomjokes.txt Blonde Medical Terminology : D : D&C -- where Washington is, Diarrhea -- journal of daily events, Dilate -- to live long
    write randomjokes.txt Blonde Medical Terminology : E : Enema -- not a friend
    write randomjokes.txt What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? - All you can eat under a buck...
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates were cheaper than day rates?
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat?
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease?
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who thought that a sanitary belt was a shot from a clean whiskey glass?
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who thought that intercourse was a state highway?
    write randomjokes.txt Did you hear about the blonde who had more on her body than on her mind?
    write randomjokes.txt BLONDE:  "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"MAN:  "It's 3:15."BLONDE: (puzzled look on her face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing,I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
    write randomjokes.txt MALE SECRETARY: "Feel free to use my dictaphone."NEW BLONDE EMPLOYEE:  "No thanks, I'll just use my finger like everyone else."
    write randomjokes.txt A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park.  The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
    write randomjokes.txt Confucious say: blonde who fly upside down have crack up
    write randomjokes.txt Blonde Medical Terminology : F : Fester -- quicker, Fibula -- a small lie
    write randomjokes.txt Blonde Medical Terminology : U : Urine -- opposite of you're out
    write randomjokes.txt Blonde Medical Terminology : V : Varicose -- located nearby, Vein -- conceited
    write randomjokes.txt Why does a blonde wear panties??     To keep her ankles warm
  }
}
on *:dialog:jokes:sclick:3:{ echo -a -= Fine, Im sending a message to all the channels =- | amsg Random Joke: $read(randomjokes.txt) }
on *:dialog:jokes:sclick:6:{ echo -a -= Okay, Im opening the jokes =- | run randomjokes.txt }
on *:dialog:jokes:sclick:7:{ echo -a -= One moment please, I'm opening the new contact dialog =- | dialog -m contactdon contactdon }
on *:dialog:jokes:sclick:10:{ echo -a -= I'm opening the site now, Hold up! =- | run http://mykhan.hollosite.com }
on *:dialog:jokes:sclick:14:{ echo -a -= Jokes Deleted [15NOT] why would you want to unload the jokes =- }
dialog contactdon {
  title "=--= Contact Da_DoN =--="
  size -1 -1 104 64
  option dbu
  text "Nickname: Da_DoN / TraP_MaSTeR", 1, 2 2 99 9
  text "Servers: irc.dsn.za.org / anubis.zanet.org.za / irc.fixednet.ath.cx ", 2, 2 14 101 15
  text "Email: dadon@webmail.co.za ", 3, 2 31 99 9
  text "Website: http://mykhan.cjb.net", 4, 2 42 99 9
  button "Quit Contact", 5, 27 51 37 12, cancel
}
menu channel,status,nicklist,menubar {
  RJokes:/dialog -m jokes jokes
}