Just paste it in your remote :)

#input on
on *:INPUT:*: {
  if $1- == :) { /say 13:15) | halt }
  if $1- == ]:) { /say 8]13:15) | halt }
  if $1- == ];) { /say 8]13;15) | halt }
  if $1- == ;\ { /say 13;15\ | halt }
  if $1- == ;/ { /say 13;15/ | halt }
  if $1- == :/ { /say 13:15/ | halt }
  if $1- == :\ { /say 13:15\ | halt }
  if $1- == [; { /say 13[15; | halt }
  if $1- == :] { /say 13:15] | halt }
  if $1- = =] { /say  13=15] | halt }
  if $1- == ;] { /say 13;15] | halt }
  if $1- == :P { /say 13:15P | halt }
  if $1- == ;P { /say 13;15P | halt }
  if $1- == ;) { /say 13;15) | halt }
  if $1- == :D { /say 13:15D | halt }
  if $1- == ;D { /say 13;15D | halt }
  if $1- == ok { /say 13O15key | halt }
  if $1- == xe { /say 13X15e13X15e13X15e13X15e | halt }
  if $1- == :| { /say 13:15| | halt }
  if $1- == :/ { /say 12:13/ | halt }
  if $1- == ;/ { /say 12;13/ | halt }
  if $1- == op { /say 13O15p | halt }
  if $1- == :} { /say 12:13} | halt }
  if $1- == :* { /say 12:13* | halt }
  if $1- == [: { /say 12[-: | halt }
  if $1- == :( { /say 12:13( | halt }
  if $1- == ;( { /say 12;13( | halt }
  if $1- == =] { /say 15=13] | halt }
  if $1- == cool { /say 13C15oo4L | halt }
  if $1- == ;-| { /say 124| | halt }
  if $1- == ;} { /say 12;13} | halt }
  if $1- == :-DD { /say 12:-4D4D | halt }
  if $1- == :DD { /say 12:13DD | halt }
  if $1- == :DDD { /say 12:13DDD | halt }
  if $1- == :DDDD { /say 12:13DDDD | halt }
  if $1- == :DDDDD { /say 12:13DDDDD | halt }
  if $1- == :DDDDDD { /say 12:13DDDDDD | halt }
  if $1- == :DDDDDDD { /say 12:13DDDDDDD | halt }
  if $1- == :DDDDDDDD { /say 12:13DDDDDDDD | halt }
  if $1- == :DDDDDDDDD { /say 12:13DDDDDDDDD | halt }
  if $1- == :DDDDDDDDDD { /say 12:13DDDDDDDDDD | halt }
  if $1- == :DDDDDDDDDDD { /say 12:13DDDDDDDDDDD | halt }
  if $1- == :DDDDDDDDDDDD { /say 12:13DDDDDDDDDDDD | halt }
  if $1- == :)) { /say 12:13)13) | halt }
  if $1- == :))) { /say 12:13))) | halt }
  if $1- == :)))) { /say 12:13)))) | halt }
  if $1- == :))))) { /say 12:13))))) | halt }
  if $1- == :)))))) { /say 12:13)))))) | halt }
  if $1- == :))))))) { /say 12:13))))))) | halt }
  if $1- == :)))))))) { /say 12:13)))))))) | halt }
  if $1- == :[ { /say 12:13[ | halt }
  if $1- == ;[ { /say 12;13[ | halt }
  if $1- == =[ { /say 12=13[ | halt }
  if $1- == =( { /say 12=13( | halt }
  if $1- == =) { /say 12=13) | halt }
  if $1- == =:) { /say 11=13:12) | halt }
  if $1- == =:)~ { /say 11=13:12)11~ | halt }
  if $1- == =:( { /say 11=13:12( | halt }
  if $1- == =:(~ { /say 11=13:12(11~ | halt }
  if $1- == :)~ { /say 12:13)11~ | halt }
  if $1- == :D~ { /say 12:13D11~ | halt }
  if $1- == :X { /say 12:4X | halt }
  if $1- == ^^ { /say 1^^ | halt }
  if $1- == =* { /say 12=4* | halt }
  if $1- == np { /say 12No 7P4r7o4b7l4e7m | halt }
  if $1- == lol { /say 13l15o13l1 | halt }
  if $1- == yeah { /say 13Yea15h | halt }

}
#input end