I was bored, so I made this script. Its kinda fun :) All commands can be found in /av

NOTE: This script dosn't detect real viruses. It just chooses a random user and says something like [ANTI-VIRUS] Virus detected, not-a-noob.win16.user.

To add some basic virus types, use /firstrun

alias firstrun {
 write noob-type.txt not-a-noob.win16.
 write noob-type.txt linux-fag.ubuntu.
 write noob-type.txt iNoob.MacOsX.
 write noob-type.txt sm4rt@ss.win64.
 write noob-type.txt tracking-n00b.win32.
 write noob-type.txt terrorist@sleepy-Binladen.Win3.11.
}

alias scan {
  var %noob $read(noob-type.txt) $+ $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0)))
  var %ns.chan $chan
  say [ANTI-VIRUS] Scanning for noobs
  .timer 1 5 msg %ns.chan [ANTI-VIRUS] Scanning done. Displaying results...
  .timer 1 6 msg %ns.chan [ANTI-VIRUS] Critical infection detected: %noob
  .timer 1 7 msg %ns.chan [ANTI-VIRUS] Moving noob to noob vault
  .timer 1 8 write noob-vault.txt %noob
  .timer 1 10 msg %ns.chan [ANTI-VIRUS] Noob succesfully moved to noob vault
}

alias patch {
  inc %patch
  say [ANTI-VIRUS] Checking for updates
  .timer 1 2 say [ANTI-VIRUS] Update found. Downloading version 1. $+ %patch
  .timer 1 5 say [ANTI-VIRUS] Downloaded patch successfully. Installing...
  .timer 1 10 say [ANTI-VIRUS] Installation done. Starting scan.
  .timer 1 11 scan
}

alias vault {
  say [ANTI-VIRUS] Displaying content of noob vault:
  play noob-vault.txt
}

alias nstype { write noob-type.txt $$1 | echo -a 3* Successfully added new noob type }

alias av {
  echo -a 12* CGTNet Anti-virus 2008
  echo -a 12* /scan - Scan for viruses.
  echo -a 12* /patch - Download updates and patches. Also auto-scans after being updated.
  echo -a 12* /vault - Show the content of virus vault.
  echo -a 12* /firstrun - Use this to add some basic virus types
}