To be honest, I hardly worked on this. i was just bored with having the error of:

WRISTS: Unknown Command

When i forgot to hold ctrl before hitting enter.

So i decided to make a script of it. Started out with a simple $r(1,500) describe command then evolved into this. anyway you know the drill, alt+r, new file, paste it in and save it.

commands

/wrists - activates the script
/hp - resets your HP level to 5000 by default - automated this into the script
/critcut - randomizes whether or not you hurt yourself more due to a critical cut or not - Automated
/randheal - even emos have to heal sometime, this is a randomized heal alias to keep you alive longer - Automated

Issues

as you notice, theres no $calc in the script at all, so you might heal for 40 and lose 200 sometimes. i havent figured out how to incorperate $calc in easily yet.
Unknown if this works on versions of mIRC earlier than 6.31(Tested on 6.31)
No timers - potential flame zone so i'll explain why. ive noticed /wrists getting spammed quickly and if timers were set in, the spammed command would far outweigh the timers.

Disclaimer: Not intended to be used to make fun of Emos or the Emo lifestyle, I'm not saying all Emos cut or otherwise. This script was made purely for fun and relief of boredom.

#Viper01's /Wrists Script#
#Copyright 2008#
;Feel free to change the maximum number on anything
;though I dont recommend adding more outcomes for the
;heal module. it works well with 2 outcomes for healing and 5 for citical
;damage. Anyway, enjoy the script :)

on *:LOAD: {
  hp
  set %weapon None
  echo -a /Wrists 2.0 Loaded
  echo -a Variables setup
  echo -a Right Click and select 'Weapons' to choose a weapon
  echo -a then type /wrists to use :)
}
menu * {
  /Wrists Weapons
  .None:/set %weapon $null
  .Razor Blade:/set %weapon Razor Blade
  .Scalpel:/set %weapon Scalpel
  .Dirge:/set %weapon Dirge
  .Serrated Knife:/set %weapon Serrated Knife
  .Chainsaw:/set %weapon Chainsaw
}
Alias HP {
  set %hp 5000
}
Alias Wrists {
  if (%hp <= 0) {
    inc %deaths | describe $chan has effectively killed themselves. Good Going, Dipshit. They have died %deaths times.
    describe $chan is revived with 5000hp. | hp | halt
  }
  if (%weapon == Razor Blade) {
    var %WDmg1 $r(1,100)
    describe $chan cuts their wrists with a %weapon causing %WDmg1 damage! | dec %hp %WDmg1 | describe $chan has %hp $+ hp left! | critcut | randheal | randkill
  }
  if (%weapon == Scalpel) {
    var %WDmg2 $r(100,200) 
    describe $chan cuts their wrists with a %weapon causing %WDmg2 damage! | dec %hp %WDmg2 | describe $chan has %hp $+ hp left! | critcut | randheal | randkill
  }
  if (%weapon == Dirge) {
    var %WDmg3 $r(200,300) 
    describe $chan cuts their wrists with a %weapon causing %WDmg3 damage! | dec %hp %WDmg3 | describe $chan has %hp $+ hp left! | critcut | randheal | randkill 
  }
  if (%weapon == Serrated Knife) {
    var %WDmg4 $r(300,400) 
    describe $chan cuts their wrists with a %weapon causing %WDmg4 damage! | dec %hp %WDmg4 | describe $chan has %hp $+ hp left! | critcut | randheal | randkill 
  }
  if (%weapon == Chainsaw) {
    var %WDmg5 $r(400,500) 
    describe $chan cuts their wrists with a %weapon causing %WDmg5 damage! | dec %hp %WDmg5 | describe $chan has %hp $+ hp left! | critcut | randheal | randkill
    describe $chan has %hp $+ hp left!
  }
  elseif (!%weapon) {
    var %WDmg6 $r(1,50) 
    describe $chan grinds their wrists against an edge causing %WDmg6 damage! | dec %hp %WDmg6 | describe $chan has %hp $+ hp left! | critcut | randheal | randkill
  }
}
alias Critcut {
  var %addmg $r(1,999)
  var %critcut $r(1,4) {
    if (%critcut isnum 1-3) halt   
    if (%critcut == 4) describe $chan has dealt a critical cut! Additional %addmg damage dealt! | dec %hp %addmg 
    describe $chan has %hp $+ hp left!
  }
}
alias Randheal {
  var %heal $r(1,999)
  var %randheal $r(1,2) {
    if (%randheal == 1) halt
    if (%randheal == 2) describe $chan has healed some of their cuts! %heal $+ hp restored! | inc %hp %heal 
    describe $chan has %hp $+ hp left!
  }
}
alias Randkill {
  if (!%weapon) {
    var %kill $r(1,2)
    if (%kill == 1) halt 
    if (%kill == 2) describe $chan cut too deep and bled to death! %hp $+ hp Lost! | dec %hp %hp
  }
  else {
    var %kill $r(1,2)
    if (%kill == 1) halt 
    if (%kill == 2) describe $chan cut too deep with the %weapon and bled to death! %hp $+ hp Lost! | dec %hp %hp
  }
}