Insults

Platform:  mIRC
Published  Jul 18, 2007
Updated  Jul 22, 2007
SOME OF THESE CAN BE OFFENSIVE IF TAKIN THE WRONG WAY PLEASE TAKE THAT INTO CONSIDERATION, TY.

Funny Insults Just Type !insult <nick> Of Course Replacing <nick> With Th Users Screen Name And It'll Say A Random Insult Enjoy.

Any Help Just Ask And Ill Try My Best To Assist You. Added Color To Save You Time : ). Oh And This Has Not Been Tested So.... on *:TEXT:!insult:#:{
/set %Insult $rand(1,100)
if (%Insult == 1) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15ou Smell Like A Turd Floating In My Toilet. }
if (%Insult == 2) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it. . }
if (%Insult == 3) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 bet your mother has a loud bark! . }
if (%Insult == 4) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.. }
if (%Insult == 5) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! . }
if (%Insult == 6) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others? . }
if (%Insult == 7) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 hear the only place you're ever invited is outside. . }
if (%Insult == 8) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! . }
if (%Insult == 9) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.. }
if (%Insult == 10) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [L]15earn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control! . }
if (%Insult == 11) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [A]15ny similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental! . }
if (%Insult == 12) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [E]15very girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege! . }
if (%Insult == 13) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [A]15re you proud of that little thing you call a !@#$?. }
if (%Insult == 14) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15our not stupid; Your possessed by a retarded ghost.. }
if (%Insult == 15) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [H]15ere's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change! . }
if (%Insult == 16) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [H]15ow did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open? . }
if (%Insult == 17) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.. }
if (%Insult == 18) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [G]15o ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds. . }
if (%Insult == 19) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [D]15on't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?. }
if (%Insult == 20) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [K]15eep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent. . }
if (%Insult == 21) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying. . }
if (%Insult == 22) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [D]15o you still love nature, despite what it did to you? . }
if (%Insult == 23) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15our so narrow minded when you walk your earings knock together. . }
if (%Insult == 24) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15our lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar. . }
if (%Insult == 25) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [S]15omeone said that you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs. . }
if (%Insult == 26) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15ou have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one.. }
if (%Insult == 27) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [T]15he wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead. . }
if (%Insult == 28) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hen your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell. . }
if (%Insult == 29) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15our son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. . }
if (%Insult == 30) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [S]15o, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.. }
if (%Insult == 31) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? . }
if (%Insult == 32) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15f you had another brain, it would be lonely.. }
if (%Insult == 33) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice. }
if (%Insult == 34) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15'm trying to imagine you with a personality. }
if (%Insult == 35) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15f I throw a stick, will you leave?. }
if (%Insult == 36) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [w]15hich dwarf are you?. }
if (%Insult == 37) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [A]15nd your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?. }
if (%Insult == 38) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [T]15his isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.. }
if (%Insult == 39) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [D]15id the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?. }
if (%Insult == 40) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.. }
if (%Insult == 41) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [M]15ay your daughters' hair grow thick, black, and abundant -- all over their faces.. }
if (%Insult == 42) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [M]15ay your children be so famous every policeman knows them.. }
if (%Insult == 43) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [M]15ay the Fleas of a Thousand Camels infest one of your Childs Facial Hair.. }
if (%Insult == 44) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15ou were one of the first to get a brain, before they were perfected.. }
if (%Insult == 45) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15ou got your brain very early. Apparently the warranty has run out.. }
if (%Insult == 46) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [T]15hey just ran out of brains by the time you got there, so they gave you a nice wood carving instead.. }
if (%Insult == 47) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15our face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop. }
if (%Insult == 48) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15our face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo. }
if (%Insult == 49) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15f your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat. }
if (%Insult == 50) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15f you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in. }
if (%Insult == 51) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y[15our face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going. }
if (%Insult == 52) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15our face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ? }
if (%Insult == 53) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15our face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time. }
if (%Insult == 54) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15our face is very becoming. I's becoming more and more ugly every time I see it. }
if (%Insult == 55) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hen they were giving out heads, you thought they said beds, and you said "I'd like something soft" }
if (%Insult == 56) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hen they were giving out brains, you thought they said grains, and you said "Make mine oatmeal" }
if (%Insult == 57) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hen they were giving out noses, you thought they said roses, and you said "Give me a big red one" }
if (%Insult == 58) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hen they were giving out heads, you thought they said sheds, and you said "I'd like a nice big wooden one" }
if (%Insult == 59) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hen they were giving out looks, you thought they said books, and you said "Give me something funny" }
if (%Insult == 60) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hen they were giving out brains, you thought they said canes, and you said "I won't need one of those" }
if (%Insult == 61) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hen they were giving out noses, you thought they said hoses, and you said "I don't mind if mine drips a little bit" }
if (%Insult == 62) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hen they were giving out faces, you thought they said cases, and you said "I'd like one made of leather" }
if (%Insult == 63) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [W]15hen they were giving out heads, you thought they said breads, and you said "I'd like mine nice and doughy" }
if (%Insult == 64) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15f I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional. }
if (%Insult == 65) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15ou don't have to say anything. You offend me just by being in the area. }
if (%Insult == 66) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 don't take it personally. Every time you open your mouth you offend someone. }
if (%Insult == 67) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15ou look familiar, did I see you in the zoo parade ? }
if (%Insult == 68) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 think you may have seen me at the zoo, I was the one who was feeding you peanuts. }
if (%Insult == 69) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 understand that's Animal Magic is your favorite show because so many of your relatives are on it. }
if (%Insult == 70) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 know your trying to insult me, but I know you like me. I can see your tail wagging. }
if (%Insult == 71) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [T]15hat's funny you calling me an animal, and it's you that has the webbed feet }
if (%Insult == 72) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15ou look familiar too, but that's not surprising, I collect bugs for a hobby. }
if (%Insult == 73) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15ou look familiar too, have I ever seen you hanging by the tail from the tree in my garden ? }
if (%Insult == 74) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [D]15idn't I dissect you in a biology class one time ? }
if (%Insult == 75) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15ou sound reasonable... Time to up the medication. }
if (%Insult == 76) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. }
if (%Insult == 77) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [A]15hhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again }
if (%Insult == 78) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [l]15ike you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. }
if (%Insult == 79) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. }
if (%Insult == 80) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. }
if (%Insult == 81) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15t sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. }
if (%Insult == 82) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. }
if (%Insult == 83) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [Y]15our teeth are brighter than You is. }
if (%Insult == 84) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [T]15he fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. }
if (%Insult == 85) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. }
if (%Insult == 86) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you. }
if (%Insult == 87) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo. }
if (%Insult == 88) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it! }
if (%Insult == 89) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV. }
if (%Insult == 90) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?. }
if (%Insult == 91) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15f your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M. }
if (%Insult == 92) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [S]15o, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey. }
if (%Insult == 93) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [T]15here is no vaccine against stupidity.. }
if (%Insult == 94) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [S]15ome day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't. }
if (%Insult == 95) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission! }
if (%Insult == 96) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15f I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used. }
if (%Insult == 97) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive. }
if (%Insult == 98) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15f we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide! }
if (%Insult == 99) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15f what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable. }
if (%Insult == 100) { msg $chan 2 Hey $2, [I]15 heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there. }
}

Comments

Sign in to comment.
Jethro   -  Oct 21, 2009
A flood protection should have been implemented. You don't want people to flood you with all those "insults," Do you?

Plus the
/set %Insult $rand(1,100)
can be changed to
Code
 
so you don't have to waste a space in your variables. If you insist on using the /set command, at least add a -e switch
/set -e %Insult $rand(1,100)
to get it unset when mirc exits.
 Respond  
Aile   -  Oct 21, 2009
Lol ghost, when i first started scripting, i did what he did for an "Age Test" 100 lines long, didnt know about $r(1,100) that could be placed in the script xD such nooby times lol
 Respond  
Ghost-writer   -  Oct 21, 2009

on *:TEXT:!insult*:#: {
if ($2 == $null) {
msg $chan Hey $+($nick,...) $read(insults.txt)
}
else {
msg $chan Hey $+($2,...) $read(insults.txt)
}
}


OR EVEN BETTER.
Code
 

Sorry, i just did your entire code in 1 line, i wish i was nicer but im a deviant >:P. 122 scripts 1 lined!
 Respond  
knoeki   -  May 03, 2009
late or not, it might still be useful to someone :_)
 Respond  
napa182   -  Apr 20, 2009
um abit late to this code knoeki dont you think?
Date Added Jul 18, 2007
Last Updated Jul 22, 2007

=/
 Respond  
knoeki   -  Apr 20, 2009
This is quite horrible... why not put all the insults in a textfile, and then do something like this:

Code
 



much cleaner, much less work to update.

also, you claim you didn't test this... maybe you should try to read the snippet uploading rules?
 Respond  
GuardianDemon   -  Jul 22, 2007
Fixed Ty Spazville Ill Use 14 Instead Of 15 From Now On = ) Ty
 Respond  
spazville   -  Jul 22, 2007
haha *sweats* sorry you also forgot [I] 15 on number 50

ok that\'s it i swaer!
 Respond  
spazville   -  Jul 22, 2007
actully scratch that on \"insult\" 79 you forgot 15
 Respond  
spazville   -  Jul 22, 2007
yuor script works well as is, except you made the colors impossible to see with out highlighting.

After i redid the colors it was really fun ^.^

thanks.
 Respond  
GuardianDemon   -  Jul 19, 2007
Lmao Yes I Know But I Still Must Space The $2 With $+ And With , So Yea Thats Why Ill DO It Later Dude Add Me As Yo Friend.
 Respond  
Scakk   -  Jul 19, 2007
I did not mean to space the \" [Y] 15 ou \" part. It can stay as it is \" [Y]15ou \"
 Respond  
GuardianDemon   -  Jul 19, 2007
Well My Stuff Is Messing Up When I Try To Do This This. Hello Dude To Hello du de It Doesnt Space Where I Want It Too It Doese This Hello Dud e Lol So Its Confusing Ill Do It A Little Later.
 Respond  
GuardianDemon   -  Jul 19, 2007
First Of All Scakk They All WOrk Fine But If You Insist I Will Go Aheas And Do It
 Respond  
Scakk   -  Jul 19, 2007
This part here will not work.

Code
 


It should be

Code
 


Whenever you wish to add something after the $2 ( or any other $number ) you need to use the $+ to make it add it to the $2.

Ex: /msg $chan Borrows $2 $+ \' backpack
 Respond  
Aile   -  Jul 18, 2007
Hehe Your scripts are good but hey use examples on what i showed ya Mate and you\'ll get better. At least your trying =)
 Respond  
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