Yay, my 1st uploaded snippet.

Granted its not exactly complicated but it did take me a fair while to do. I have to admit TV can be very...Watchable at times :p

What it basically does is choose 2 random numbers and pits them against each other. Depending on which is higher executes the following part of the snippet. The numbers are known as %FFDamage and %OpponentHP

For example;

(18:55:47) <@One-Winged-Angel> !firaga Ronaldo
(18:55:48) @Nero-The-Sable casts Firaga on Ronaldo and deals 7184 damage. Ronaldo has 3888 hitpoints
(18:55:48) <@Nero-The-Sable> Ronaldo you have been KO'd. As a punishment you will be used as a mop!
(18:55:50) <@One-Winged-Angel> !firaga Ronaldo
(18:55:50) @Nero-The-Sable casts Firaga on Ronaldo and deals 2078 damage. Ronaldo has 5627 hitpoints
(18:55:51) <@Nero-The-Sable> You are lucky Ronaldo my Firaga spell only did 2078 damage. I spare you this time.

it also has protection, so if someone targets a specific nick, the person gets seriously VERB'D FF style (H)

EDIT: This has now been updated to include a variety of attacks and to add another option to the if/elseif/else thingy. Just make sure you read the instructions :)
EDIT: Added a couple timers (Finally) there should now be no mix up in the order of replies.
EDIT: Added a space betwen 2 and describe in timercast. Also changed $2 to $2- so you can have spaces, I know how annoying that can get..Added a => as theoretically if you had the same damage it would still KO them..

on *:TEXT:!Engage*:#: {
  if ($2 == $me) { 
    timerreply 1 1 msg $chan $nick $+ ! How very dare you try that.
    timercast 1 2 describe $chan casts Supernova on $nick 
  }
  elseif ($2 == One-Winged-Angel) {
    describe $chan $read(FFAttacks.txt) on $2 and deals 1 damage. $2 has 99,999 hp $+ . Unfortunatly One-Winged-Angel is too powerful to seriously damage.
    timerkick 1 3 /kick $chan $nick 
  }
  else {
    set %FFDamage $rand(1,9999)
    set %OpponentHP $rand(1,9998) 
    describe $chan $read(FFAttacks.txt) on $2- and deals %FFDamage damage. $2- has %OpponentHP hitpoints
    if %FFDamage => %OpponentHP $read(kickmethod.txt) 
    elseif %OpponentHP > %FFDamage msg $chan You are lucky $2- $+ , my attack only did %FFDamage damage. I spare you this time.
  }
}

;Don't forget to have a kickmethod.txt saved in your mIRC directory containing something. In mine I have such things as "$2- you have been KO'd. As a punishment <insert punishment here>

In FFAttacks.txt;
casts Fire
casts Fira
casts Firaga
casts Firaja
casts Thunder
casts Thundara
casts Thundaga
casts Thundaja
casts Blizzard
casts Blizzara
casts Blizzaga
casts Blizzaja
casts Water
casts Watera
casts Waterga
casts Waterja
casts Bio
casts Demi
casts Drain
casts Flare
casts Ultima
casts Gravija
casts Quake
casts Beta
casts Frog Drop
casts Holy
uses Sleep Attack
uses Silence Attack
uses Dark attack
uses Sleep buster
uses Silence Buster
uses Dark Buster
uses Zombie attack
uses Triple Foul
uses Delay Attack
uses Delay Buster
uses Power Break
uses Magic Break
uses Armour Break
uses Mental Break
uses Mug
uses Quick Hit
uses Full Break
uses an Antartic Wind
uses an Artic Wind
uses a Blessed Gem
uses a Bomb Core
uses a Dark Matter
uses a Dragon Scale
uses some Dream Powder
uses an Electro Marble
uses anFire Gem
uses a Fish Scale
uses a Frag Grenade
uses a Gold Hourglass
uses a Grenade
uses an Ice Gem
uses a Lightning Gem
uses a Lightning Marble
uses a Poison Fang
uses some Purifying Salt
uses a Shadow Gem
Uses a Shining Gem
uses a Silence Grenade
uses a Sleeping Powder
uses a Smoke Bomb
uses a Soul Spring
uses a Stamina Spring
uses a Supreme Gem
uses a Water Gem
summons Shiva
summons Choco/Mog
summons Ifrit
summons Bahamut
summons Neo Bahamut
summons Bahamut Zero
summons Knights Of The Round
summons Hades
summons Leviathan
summons Doomtrain
summons Tonberry King
summons Eden
summons Cactuar
summons Odin
summons Ramuh
summons Alexander
summons Brothers

;Note: The above list doesn't include every FF attack, but it contains a fair few of them. I got bored typing in the same format over again. Feel free to add anything you like.

;Note2: Added a $me as suggested, also added a if $nick as I use clones, didn't work with $me. Delete this line of the code if uneeded.