I'm proud of some of my programming, but I will admit that this is rough. This is Cards Against Humanity. I know that there are websites for playing CAH online with people, but I have several blind friends who use computer software to read everything on the screen (it's called Jaws) but that software does not work with those websites. They CAN, however, use IRC... so I wrote this to be able to play with them. I have not had a chance to fully test this, so there may be some bugs... let me know if you find any. Cards Against Humanity is perfectly fine with people using the card text to make digital versions, so I will include the cards. You must put the white cards in a text file called cahwhite.txt and the black cards in cahblack.txt with the code. Those card lists are after the code at the bottom. 3 to 10 players are supported in this game.

Commands: !cahstart to start a new game; !cahp # for the amount of players; !cahnextround to start a new round; !playerhere when starting a new game to claim your seat; !refresh to display your cards... must be done after each round to draw your cards back up; !readytojudge to display all the player's selections; !judge where the chosen letter is in place of the _; !cahcredits for credits and card info.

on *:TEXT:!cahhelp:#:{ msg $chan Commands: !cahstart to start a new game; !cahp # for the amount of players; !cahnextround to start a new round; !player_here when starting a new game to claim your seat; !refresh to display your cards... must be done after each round to draw your cards back up; !readytojudge to display all the player's selections; !judge _ where the chosen letter is in place of the _; !cahcredits for credits and card info.
}

on *:TEXT:!cahstart:#:{
  msg $chan How many players will be playing? Please respond with "!cahp #" where the number of players is in place of the "#".
  .set %howmanyplayers waiting
  .set %cahplayer1 $null
  .set %cahplayer2 $null
  .set %cahplayer3 $null
  .set %cahplayer4 $null
  .set %cahplayer5 $null
  .set %cahplayer6 $null
  .set %cahplayer7 $null
  .set %cahplayer8 $null
  .set %cahplayer9 $null
  .set %cahplayer10 $null
  .set %p1selection1 $null
  .set %p2selection1 $null
  .set %p3selection1 $null
  .set %p4selection1 $null
  .set %p5selection1 $null
  .set %p6selection1 $null
  .set %p7selection1 $null
  .set %p8selection1 $null
  .set %p9selection1 $null
  .set %p10selection1 $null
  .set %p1selection2 $null
  .set %p2selection2 $null
  .set %p3selection2 $null
  .set %p4selection2 $null
  .set %p5selection2 $null
  .set %p6selection2 $null
  .set %p7selection2 $null
  .set %p8selection2 $null
  .set %p9selection2 $null
  .set %p10selection2 $null
  .set %p1selection3 $null
  .set %p2selection3 $null
  .set %p3selection3 $null
  .set %p4selection3 $null
  .set %p5selection3 $null
  .set %p6selection3 $null
  .set %p7selection3 $null
  .set %p8selection3 $null
  .set %p9selection3 $null
  .set %p10selection3 $null
  .set %p1fullselection $null
  .set %p2fullselection $null
  .set %p3fullselection $null
  .set %p4fullselection $null
  .set %p5fullselection $null
  .set %p6fullselection $null
  .set %p7fullselection $null
  .set %p8fullselection $null
  .set %p9fullselection $null
  .set %p10fullselection $null
  .set %playerturn $null
  .set %blackcard $null
  .set %judgeplayer $null
  .set %cahroom $chan
  .set %selectiona $null
  .set %selectionb $null
  .set %selectionc $null
  .set %selectiond $null
  .set %selectione $null
  .set %selectionf $null
  .set %selectiong $null
  .set %selectionh $null
  .set %selectioni $null
  .set %selectionj $null
}

on *:TEXT:!movecah*:#:{ .set %cahroom $2 }

on *:TEXT:!cahp*:#:{
  .set %howmanyplayers $2
  msg $chan All right, there will be %howmanyplayers players playing. Later on, you can add a player by typing "!addcahplayer" or remove a player by typing "!subtractcahplayer"
  msg $chan Players, please decide the order in which you will play, then type "!player1here", "!player2here", "!player3here" and so on.
}

on *:TEXT:!cahnextround*:#:{
  .set %blackcard $read(cahblack.txt)
  .set %getnextp On
  describe $chan flips over a black card, it is: %blackcard
  if (%howmanyplayers == 3) {
    if (%judgeplayer == $null) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 1) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 2 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer2 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 2 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 2) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 3 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer3 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 3 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 3) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 4) {
    if (%judgeplayer == $null) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 1) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 2 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer2 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 2 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 2) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 3 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer3 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 3 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 3) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 4 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer4 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 4 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 4) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 5) {
    if (%judgeplayer == $null) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 1) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 2 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer2 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 2 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 2) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 3 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer3 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 3 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 3) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 4 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer4 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 4 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 4) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 5 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer5 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 5 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 5) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 6) {
    if (%judgeplayer == $null) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 1) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 2 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer2 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 2 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 2) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 3 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer3 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 3 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 3) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 4 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer4 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 4 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 4) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 5 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer5 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 5 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 5) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 6 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer6 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 6 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 6) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 7) {
    if (%judgeplayer == $null) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 1) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 2 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer2 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 2 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 2) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 3 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer3 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 3 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 3) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 4 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer4 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 4 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 4) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 5 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer5 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 5 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 5) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 6 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer6 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 6 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 6) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 7 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer7 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 7 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 7) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 8) {
    if (%judgeplayer == $null) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 1) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 2 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer2 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 2 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 2) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 3 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer3 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 3 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 3) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 4 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer4 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 4 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 4) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 5 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer5 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 5 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 5) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 6 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer6 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 6 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 6) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 7 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer7 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 7 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 7) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 8 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer8 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 8 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 8) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 9) {
    if (%judgeplayer == $null) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 1) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 2 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer2 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 2 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 2) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 3 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer3 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 3 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 3) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 4 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer4 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 4 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 4) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 5 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer5 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 5 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 5) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 6 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer6 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 6 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 6) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 7 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer7 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 7 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 7) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 8 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer8 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 8 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 8) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 9 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer9 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 9 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 9) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 10) {
    if (%judgeplayer == $null) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 1) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 2 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer2 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 2 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 2) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 3 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer3 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 3 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 3) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 4 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer4 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 4 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 4) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 5 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer5 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 5 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 5) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 6 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer6 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 6 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 6) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 7 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer7 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 7 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 7) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 8 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer8 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 8 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 8) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 9 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer9 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 9 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 9) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 10 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer10 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 10 | .set %getnextp Off }
    if (%lastplayer == 10) && (%getnextp == On) { .set %judgeplayer 1 | msg $chan It is %cahplayer1 $+ 's turn to be the judge. | .set %lastplayer 1 | .set %getnextp Off }
  }
}

on *:TEXT:!player1here*:#:{
  if (%cahplayer1 == $null) { .set %cahplayer1 $nick | msg $chan Player 1 will be %cahplayer1 }
  .set %p1c1 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p1c2 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p1c3 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p1c4 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p1c5 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p1c6 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p1c7 $read(cahwhite.txt)
}

on *:TEXT:!player2here*:#:{
  if (%cahplayer2 == $null) { .set %cahplayer2 $nick | msg $chan Player 2 will be %cahplayer2 }
  .set %p2c1 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p2c2 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p2c3 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p2c4 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p2c5 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p2c6 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p2c7 $read(cahwhite.txt)
}

on *:TEXT:!player3here*:#:{
  if (%cahplayer3 == $null) { .set %cahplayer3 $nick | msg $chan Player 3 will be %cahplayer3 }
  .set %p3c1 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p3c2 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p3c3 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p3c4 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p3c5 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p3c6 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p3c7 $read(cahwhite.txt)
}

on *:TEXT:!player4here*:#:{
  if (%cahplayer4 == $null) { .set %cahplayer4 $nick | msg $chan Player 4 will be %cahplayer4 }
  .set %p4c1 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p4c2 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p4c3 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p4c4 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p4c5 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p4c6 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p4c7 $read(cahwhite.txt)
}

on *:TEXT:!player5here*:#:{
  if (%cahplayer5 == $null) { .set %cahplayer5 $nick | msg $chan Player 5 will be %cahplayer5 }
  .set %p5c1 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p5c2 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p5c3 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p5c4 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p5c5 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p5c6 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p5c7 $read(cahwhite.txt)
}

on *:TEXT:!player6here*:#:{
  if (%cahplayer6 == $null) { .set %cahplayer6 $nick | msg $chan Player 6 will be %cahplayer6 }
  .set %p6c1 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p6c2 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p6c3 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p6c4 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p6c5 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p6c6 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p6c7 $read(cahwhite.txt)
}

on *:TEXT:!player7here*:#:{
  if (%cahplayer7 == $null) { .set %cahplayer7 $nick | msg $chan Player 7 will be %cahplayer7 }
  .set %p7c1 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p7c2 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p7c3 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p7c4 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p7c5 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p7c6 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p7c7 $read(cahwhite.txt)
}

on *:TEXT:!player8here*:#:{
  if (%cahplayer8 == $null) { .set %cahplayer8 $nick | msg $chan Player 8 will be %cahplayer8 }
  .set %p8c1 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p8c2 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p8c3 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p8c4 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p8c5 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p8c6 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p8c7 $read(cahwhite.txt)
}

on *:TEXT:!player9here*:#:{
  if (%cahplayer9 == $null) { .set %cahplayer9 $nick | msg $chan Player 9 will be %cahplayer9 }
  .set %p9c1 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p9c2 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p9c3 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p9c4 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p9c5 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p9c6 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p9c7 $read(cahwhite.txt)
}

on *:TEXT:!player10here*:#:{
  if (%cahplayer10 == $null) { .set %cahplayer10 $nick | msg $chan Player 10 will be %cahplayer10 }
  .set %p10c1 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p10c2 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p10c3 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p10c4 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p10c5 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p10c6 $read(cahwhite.txt)
  .set %p10c7 $read(cahwhite.txt)
}

on *:TEXT:!refresh*:?:{
  if ($nick == %cahplayer1) {
    if (%p1c1 == $null) { .set %p1c1 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p1c2 == $null) { .set %p1c2 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p1c3 == $null) { .set %p1c3 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p1c4 == $null) { .set %p1c4 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p1c5 == $null) { .set %p1c5 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p1c6 == $null) { .set %p1c6 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p1c7 == $null) { .set %p1c7 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    msg $nick 1: %p1c1
    msg $nick 2: %p1c2
    msg $nick 3: %p1c3
    msg $nick 4: %p1c4
    msg $nick 5: %p1c5
    msg $nick 6: %p1c6
    msg $nick 7: %p1c7
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer2) {
    if (%p2c1 == $null) { .set %p2c1 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p2c2 == $null) { .set %p2c2 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p2c3 == $null) { .set %p2c3 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p2c4 == $null) { .set %p2c4 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p2c5 == $null) { .set %p2c5 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p2c6 == $null) { .set %p2c6 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p2c7 == $null) { .set %p2c7 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    msg $nick 1: %p2c1
    msg $nick 2: %p2c2
    msg $nick 3: %p2c3
    msg $nick 4: %p2c4
    msg $nick 5: %p2c5
    msg $nick 6: %p2c6
    msg $nick 7: %p2c7
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer3) {
    if (%p3c1 == $null) { .set %p3c1 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p3c2 == $null) { .set %p3c2 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p3c3 == $null) { .set %p3c3 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p3c4 == $null) { .set %p3c4 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p3c5 == $null) { .set %p3c5 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p3c6 == $null) { .set %p3c6 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p3c7 == $null) { .set %p3c7 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    msg $nick 1: %p3c1
    msg $nick 2: %p3c2
    msg $nick 3: %p3c3
    msg $nick 4: %p3c4
    msg $nick 5: %p3c5
    msg $nick 6: %p3c6
    msg $nick 7: %p3c7
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer4) {
    if (%p4c1 == $null) { .set %p4c1 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p4c2 == $null) { .set %p4c2 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p4c3 == $null) { .set %p4c3 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p4c4 == $null) { .set %p4c4 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p4c5 == $null) { .set %p4c5 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p4c6 == $null) { .set %p4c6 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p4c7 == $null) { .set %p4c7 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    msg $nick 1: %p4c1
    msg $nick 2: %p4c2
    msg $nick 3: %p4c3
    msg $nick 4: %p4c4
    msg $nick 5: %p4c5
    msg $nick 6: %p4c6
    msg $nick 7: %p4c7
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer5) {
    if (%p5c1 == $null) { .set %p5c1 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p5c2 == $null) { .set %p5c2 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p5c3 == $null) { .set %p5c3 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p5c4 == $null) { .set %p5c4 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p5c5 == $null) { .set %p5c5 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p5c6 == $null) { .set %p5c6 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p5c7 == $null) { .set %p5c7 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    msg $nick 1: %p5c1
    msg $nick 2: %p5c2
    msg $nick 3: %p5c3
    msg $nick 4: %p5c4
    msg $nick 5: %p5c5
    msg $nick 6: %p5c6
    msg $nick 7: %p5c7
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer6) {
    if (%p6c1 == $null) { .set %p6c1 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p6c2 == $null) { .set %p6c2 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p6c3 == $null) { .set %p6c3 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p6c4 == $null) { .set %p6c4 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p6c5 == $null) { .set %p6c5 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p6c6 == $null) { .set %p6c6 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p6c7 == $null) { .set %p6c7 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    msg $nick 1: %p6c1
    msg $nick 2: %p6c2
    msg $nick 3: %p6c3
    msg $nick 4: %p6c4
    msg $nick 5: %p6c5
    msg $nick 6: %p6c6
    msg $nick 7: %p6c7
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer7) {
    if (%p7c1 == $null) { .set %p7c1 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p7c2 == $null) { .set %p7c2 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p7c3 == $null) { .set %p7c3 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p7c4 == $null) { .set %p7c4 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p7c5 == $null) { .set %p7c5 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p7c6 == $null) { .set %p7c6 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p7c7 == $null) { .set %p7c7 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    msg $nick 1: %p7c1
    msg $nick 2: %p7c2
    msg $nick 3: %p7c3
    msg $nick 4: %p7c4
    msg $nick 5: %p7c5
    msg $nick 6: %p7c6
    msg $nick 7: %p7c7
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer8) {
    if (%p8c1 == $null) { .set %p8c1 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p8c2 == $null) { .set %p8c2 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p8c3 == $null) { .set %p8c3 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p8c4 == $null) { .set %p8c4 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p8c5 == $null) { .set %p8c5 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p8c6 == $null) { .set %p8c6 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p8c7 == $null) { .set %p8c7 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    msg $nick 1: %p8c1
    msg $nick 2: %p8c2
    msg $nick 3: %p8c3
    msg $nick 4: %p8c4
    msg $nick 5: %p8c5
    msg $nick 6: %p8c6
    msg $nick 7: %p8c7
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer9) {
    if (%p9c1 == $null) { .set %p9c1 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p9c2 == $null) { .set %p9c2 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p9c3 == $null) { .set %p9c3 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p9c4 == $null) { .set %p9c4 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p9c5 == $null) { .set %p9c5 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p9c6 == $null) { .set %p9c6 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p9c7 == $null) { .set %p9c7 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    msg $nick 1: %p9c1
    msg $nick 2: %p9c2
    msg $nick 3: %p9c3
    msg $nick 4: %p9c4
    msg $nick 5: %p9c5
    msg $nick 6: %p9c6
    msg $nick 7: %p9c7
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer10) {
    if (%p10c1 == $null) { .set %p10c1 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p10c2 == $null) { .set %p10c2 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p10c3 == $null) { .set %p10c3 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p10c4 == $null) { .set %p10c4 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p10c5 == $null) { .set %p10c5 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p10c6 == $null) { .set %p10c6 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    if (%p10c7 == $null) { .set %p10c7 $read(cahwhite.txt) }
    msg $nick 1: %p10c1
    msg $nick 2: %p10c2
    msg $nick 3: %p10c3
    msg $nick 4: %p10c4
    msg $nick 5: %p10c5
    msg $nick 6: %p10c6
    msg $nick 7: %p10c7
  }
}

on *:TEXT:!play1*:?:{
  if ($nick == %cahplayer1) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c1 | .set %p1c1 $null | .set %p1fullselection %p1selection1 }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c2 | .set %p1c2 $null | .set %p1fullselection %p1selection1 }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c3 | .set %p1c3 $null | .set %p1fullselection %p1selection1 }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c4 | .set %p1c4 $null | .set %p1fullselection %p1selection1 }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c5 | .set %p1c5 $null | .set %p1fullselection %p1selection1 }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c6 | .set %p1c6 $null | .set %p1fullselection %p1selection1 }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c7 | .set %p1c7 $null | .set %p1fullselection %p1selection1 }
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer2) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p1selection1 %p2c1 | .set %p2c1 $null | .set %p2fullselection %p2selection1 }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p1selection1 %p2c2 | .set %p2c2 $null | .set %p2fullselection %p2selection1 }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p1selection1 %p2c3 | .set %p2c3 $null | .set %p2fullselection %p2selection1 }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p1selection1 %p2c4 | .set %p2c4 $null | .set %p2fullselection %p2selection1 }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p1selection1 %p2c5 | .set %p2c5 $null | .set %p2fullselection %p2selection1 }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p1selection1 %p2c6 | .set %p2c6 $null | .set %p2fullselection %p2selection1 }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p1selection1 %p2c7 | .set %p2c7 $null | .set %p2fullselection %p2selection1 }
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer3) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c1 | .set %p3c1 $null | .set %p3fullselection %p3selection1 }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c2 | .set %p3c2 $null | .set %p3fullselection %p3selection1 }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c3 | .set %p3c3 $null | .set %p3fullselection %p3selection1 }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c4 | .set %p3c4 $null | .set %p3fullselection %p3selection1 }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c5 | .set %p3c5 $null | .set %p3fullselection %p3selection1 }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c6 | .set %p3c6 $null | .set %p3fullselection %p3selection1 }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c7 | .set %p3c7 $null | .set %p3fullselection %p3selection1 }
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer4) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c1 | .set %p4c1 $null | .set %p4fullselection %p4selection1 }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c2 | .set %p4c2 $null | .set %p4fullselection %p4selection1 }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c3 | .set %p4c3 $null | .set %p4fullselection %p4selection1 }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c4 | .set %p4c4 $null | .set %p4fullselection %p4selection1 }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c5 | .set %p4c5 $null | .set %p4fullselection %p4selection1 }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c6 | .set %p4c6 $null | .set %p4fullselection %p4selection1 }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c7 | .set %p4c7 $null | .set %p4fullselection %p4selection1 }
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer5) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c1 | .set %p5c1 $null | .set %p5fullselection %p5selection1 }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c2 | .set %p5c2 $null | .set %p5fullselection %p5selection1 }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c3 | .set %p5c3 $null | .set %p5fullselection %p5selection1 }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c4 | .set %p5c4 $null | .set %p5fullselection %p5selection1 }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c5 | .set %p5c5 $null | .set %p5fullselection %p5selection1 }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c6 | .set %p5c6 $null | .set %p5fullselection %p5selection1 }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c7 | .set %p5c7 $null | .set %p5fullselection %p5selection1 }
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer6) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c1 | .set %p6c1 $null | .set %p6fullselection %p6selection1 }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c2 | .set %p6c2 $null | .set %p6fullselection %p6selection1 }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c3 | .set %p6c3 $null | .set %p6fullselection %p6selection1 }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c4 | .set %p6c4 $null | .set %p6fullselection %p6selection1 }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c5 | .set %p6c5 $null | .set %p6fullselection %p6selection1 }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c6 | .set %p6c6 $null | .set %p6fullselection %p6selection1 }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c7 | .set %p6c7 $null | .set %p6fullselection %p6selection1 }
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer7) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c1 | .set %p7c1 $null | .set %p7fullselection %p7selection1 }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c2 | .set %p7c2 $null | .set %p7fullselection %p7selection1 }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c3 | .set %p7c3 $null | .set %p7fullselection %p7selection1 }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c4 | .set %p7c4 $null | .set %p7fullselection %p7selection1 }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c5 | .set %p7c5 $null | .set %p7fullselection %p7selection1 }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c6 | .set %p7c6 $null | .set %p7fullselection %p7selection1 }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c7 | .set %p7c7 $null | .set %p7fullselection %p7selection1 }
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer8) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c1 | .set %p8c1 $null | .set %p8fullselection %p8selection1 }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c2 | .set %p8c2 $null | .set %p8fullselection %p8selection1 }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c3 | .set %p8c3 $null | .set %p8fullselection %p8selection1 }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c4 | .set %p8c4 $null | .set %p8fullselection %p8selection1 }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c5 | .set %p8c5 $null | .set %p8fullselection %p8selection1 }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c6 | .set %p8c6 $null | .set %p8fullselection %p8selection1 }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c7 | .set %p8c7 $null | .set %p8fullselection %p8selection1 }
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer9) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c1 | .set %p9c1 $null | .set %p9fullselection %p9selection1 }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c2 | .set %p9c2 $null | .set %p9fullselection %p9selection1 }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c3 | .set %p9c3 $null | .set %p9fullselection %p9selection1 }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c4 | .set %p9c4 $null | .set %p9fullselection %p9selection1 }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c5 | .set %p9c5 $null | .set %p9fullselection %p9selection1 }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c6 | .set %p9c6 $null | .set %p9fullselection %p9selection1 }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c7 | .set %p9c7 $null | .set %p9fullselection %p9selection1 }
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer10) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c1 | .set %p10c1 $null | .set %p10fullselection %p10selection1 }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c2 | .set %p10c2 $null | .set %p10fullselection %p10selection1 }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c3 | .set %p10c3 $null | .set %p10fullselection %p10selection1 }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c4 | .set %p10c4 $null | .set %p10fullselection %p10selection1 }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c5 | .set %p10c5 $null | .set %p10fullselection %p10selection1 }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c6 | .set %p10c6 $null | .set %p10fullselection %p10selection1 }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c7 | .set %p10c7 $null | .set %p10fullselection %p10selection1 }
  }
}

on *:TEXT:!play2*:?:{
  if ($nick == %cahplayer1) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c1 | .set %p1c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c2 | .set %p1c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c3 | .set %p1c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c4 | .set %p1c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c5 | .set %p1c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c6 | .set %p1c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c7 | .set %p1c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c1 | .set %p1c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c2 | .set %p1c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c3 | .set %p1c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c4 | .set %p1c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c5 | .set %p1c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c6 | .set %p1c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c7 | .set %p1c7 $null }
    .set %p1fullselection %p1selection1 AND %p1selection2
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer2) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c1 | .set %p2c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c2 | .set %p2c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c3 | .set %p2c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c4 | .set %p2c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c5 | .set %p2c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c6 | .set %p2c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c7 | .set %p2c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c1 | .set %p2c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c2 | .set %p2c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c3 | .set %p2c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c4 | .set %p2c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c5 | .set %p2c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c6 | .set %p2c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c7 | .set %p2c7 $null }
    .set %p2fullselection %p2selection1 AND %p2selection2
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer3) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c1 | .set %p3c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c2 | .set %p3c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c3 | .set %p3c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c4 | .set %p3c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c5 | .set %p3c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c6 | .set %p3c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c7 | .set %p3c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c1 | .set %p3c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c2 | .set %p3c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c3 | .set %p3c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c4 | .set %p3c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c5 | .set %p3c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c6 | .set %p3c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c7 | .set %p3c7 $null }
    .set %p3fullselection %p3selection1 AND %p3selection2
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer4) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c1 | .set %p4c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c2 | .set %p4c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c3 | .set %p4c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c4 | .set %p4c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c5 | .set %p4c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c6 | .set %p4c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c7 | .set %p4c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c1 | .set %p4c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c2 | .set %p4c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c3 | .set %p4c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c4 | .set %p4c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c5 | .set %p4c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c6 | .set %p4c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c7 | .set %p4c7 $null }
    .set %p4fullselection %p4selection1 AND %p4selection2
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer5) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c1 | .set %p5c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c2 | .set %p5c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c3 | .set %p5c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c4 | .set %p5c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c5 | .set %p5c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c6 | .set %p5c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c7 | .set %p5c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c1 | .set %p5c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c2 | .set %p5c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c3 | .set %p5c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c4 | .set %p5c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c5 | .set %p5c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c6 | .set %p5c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c7 | .set %p5c7 $null }
    .set %p5fullselection %p5selection1 AND %p5selection2
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer6) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c1 | .set %p6c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c2 | .set %p6c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c3 | .set %p6c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c4 | .set %p6c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c5 | .set %p6c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c6 | .set %p6c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c7 | .set %p6c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c1 | .set %p6c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c2 | .set %p6c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c3 | .set %p6c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c4 | .set %p6c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c5 | .set %p6c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c6 | .set %p6c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c7 | .set %p6c7 $null }
    .set %p6fullselection %p6selection1 AND %p6selection2
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer7) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c1 | .set %p7c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c2 | .set %p7c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c3 | .set %p7c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c4 | .set %p7c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c5 | .set %p7c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c6 | .set %p7c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c7 | .set %p7c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c1 | .set %p7c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c2 | .set %p7c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c3 | .set %p7c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c4 | .set %p7c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c5 | .set %p7c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c6 | .set %p7c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c7 | .set %p7c7 $null }
    .set %p7fullselection %p7selection1 AND %p7selection2
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer8) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c1 | .set %p8c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c2 | .set %p8c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c3 | .set %p8c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c4 | .set %p8c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c5 | .set %p8c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c6 | .set %p8c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c7 | .set %p8c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c1 | .set %p8c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c2 | .set %p8c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c3 | .set %p8c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c4 | .set %p8c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c5 | .set %p8c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c6 | .set %p8c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c7 | .set %p8c7 $null }
    .set %p8fullselection %p8selection1 AND %p8selection2
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer9) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c1 | .set %p9c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c2 | .set %p9c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c3 | .set %p9c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c4 | .set %p9c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c5 | .set %p9c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c6 | .set %p9c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c7 | .set %p9c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c1 | .set %p9c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c2 | .set %p9c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c3 | .set %p9c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c4 | .set %p9c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c5 | .set %p9c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c6 | .set %p9c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c7 | .set %p9c7 $null }
    .set %p9fullselection %p9selection1 AND %p9selection2
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer10) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c1 | .set %p10c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c2 | .set %p10c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c3 | .set %p10c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c4 | .set %p10c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c5 | .set %p10c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c6 | .set %p10c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c7 | .set %p10c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c1 | .set %p10c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c2 | .set %p10c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c3 | .set %p10c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c4 | .set %p10c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c5 | .set %p10c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c6 | .set %p10c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c7 | .set %p10c7 $null }
    .set %p10fullselection %p10selection1 AND %p10selection2
  }
}

on *:TEXT:!play3*:?:{
  if ($nick == %cahplayer1) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c1 | .set %p1c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c2 | .set %p1c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c3 | .set %p1c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c4 | .set %p1c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c5 | .set %p1c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c6 | .set %p1c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p1selection1 %p1c7 | .set %p1c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c1 | .set %p1c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c2 | .set %p1c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c3 | .set %p1c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c4 | .set %p1c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c5 | .set %p1c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c6 | .set %p1c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p1selection2 %p1c7 | .set %p1c7 $null }
    if ($4 == 1) { .set %p1selection3 %p1c1 | .set %p1c1 $null }
    if ($4 == 2) { .set %p1selection3 %p1c2 | .set %p1c2 $null }
    if ($4 == 3) { .set %p1selection3 %p1c3 | .set %p1c3 $null }
    if ($4 == 4) { .set %p1selection3 %p1c4 | .set %p1c4 $null }
    if ($4 == 5) { .set %p1selection3 %p1c5 | .set %p1c5 $null }
    if ($4 == 6) { .set %p1selection3 %p1c6 | .set %p1c6 $null }
    if ($4 == 7) { .set %p1selection3 %p1c7 | .set %p1c7 $null }
    .set %p1fullselection %p1selection1 AND %p1selection2 AND %p1selection3
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer2) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c1 | .set %p2c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c2 | .set %p2c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c3 | .set %p2c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c4 | .set %p2c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c5 | .set %p2c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c6 | .set %p2c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p2selection1 %p2c7 | .set %p2c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c1 | .set %p2c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c2 | .set %p2c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c3 | .set %p2c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c4 | .set %p2c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c5 | .set %p2c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c6 | .set %p2c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p2selection2 %p2c7 | .set %p2c7 $null }
    if ($4 == 1) { .set %p2selection3 %p2c1 | .set %p2c1 $null }
    if ($4 == 2) { .set %p2selection3 %p2c2 | .set %p2c2 $null }
    if ($4 == 3) { .set %p2selection3 %p2c3 | .set %p2c3 $null }
    if ($4 == 4) { .set %p2selection3 %p2c4 | .set %p2c4 $null }
    if ($4 == 5) { .set %p2selection3 %p2c5 | .set %p2c5 $null }
    if ($4 == 6) { .set %p2selection3 %p2c6 | .set %p2c6 $null }
    if ($4 == 7) { .set %p2selection3 %p2c7 | .set %p2c7 $null }
    .set %p2fullselection %p2selection1 AND %p2selection2 AND %p2selection3
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer3) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c1 | .set %p3c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c2 | .set %p3c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c3 | .set %p3c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c4 | .set %p3c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c5 | .set %p3c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c6 | .set %p3c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p3selection1 %p3c7 | .set %p3c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c1 | .set %p3c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c2 | .set %p3c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c3 | .set %p3c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c4 | .set %p3c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c5 | .set %p3c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c6 | .set %p3c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p3selection2 %p3c7 | .set %p3c7 $null }
    if ($4 == 1) { .set %p3selection3 %p3c1 | .set %p3c1 $null }
    if ($4 == 2) { .set %p3selection3 %p3c2 | .set %p3c2 $null }
    if ($4 == 3) { .set %p3selection3 %p3c3 | .set %p3c3 $null }
    if ($4 == 4) { .set %p3selection3 %p3c4 | .set %p3c4 $null }
    if ($4 == 5) { .set %p3selection3 %p3c5 | .set %p3c5 $null }
    if ($4 == 6) { .set %p3selection3 %p3c6 | .set %p3c6 $null }
    if ($4 == 7) { .set %p3selection3 %p3c7 | .set %p3c7 $null }
    .set %p3fullselection %p3selection1 AND %p3selection2 AND %p3selection3
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer4) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c1 | .set %p4c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c2 | .set %p4c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c3 | .set %p4c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c4 | .set %p4c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c5 | .set %p4c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c6 | .set %p4c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p4selection1 %p4c7 | .set %p4c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c1 | .set %p4c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c2 | .set %p4c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c3 | .set %p4c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c4 | .set %p4c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c5 | .set %p4c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c6 | .set %p4c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p4selection2 %p4c7 | .set %p4c7 $null }
    if ($4 == 1) { .set %p4selection3 %p4c1 | .set %p4c1 $null }
    if ($4 == 2) { .set %p4selection3 %p4c2 | .set %p4c2 $null }
    if ($4 == 3) { .set %p4selection3 %p4c3 | .set %p4c3 $null }
    if ($4 == 4) { .set %p4selection3 %p4c4 | .set %p4c4 $null }
    if ($4 == 5) { .set %p4selection3 %p4c5 | .set %p4c5 $null }
    if ($4 == 6) { .set %p4selection3 %p4c6 | .set %p4c6 $null }
    if ($4 == 7) { .set %p4selection3 %p4c7 | .set %p4c7 $null }
    .set %p4fullselection %p4selection1 AND %p4selection2 AND %p4selection3
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer5) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c1 | .set %p5c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c2 | .set %p5c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c3 | .set %p5c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c4 | .set %p5c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c5 | .set %p5c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c6 | .set %p5c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p5selection1 %p5c7 | .set %p5c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c1 | .set %p5c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c2 | .set %p5c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c3 | .set %p5c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c4 | .set %p5c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c5 | .set %p5c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c6 | .set %p5c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p5selection2 %p5c7 | .set %p5c7 $null }
    if ($4 == 1) { .set %p5selection3 %p5c1 | .set %p5c1 $null }
    if ($4 == 2) { .set %p5selection3 %p5c2 | .set %p5c2 $null }
    if ($4 == 3) { .set %p5selection3 %p5c3 | .set %p5c3 $null }
    if ($4 == 4) { .set %p5selection3 %p5c4 | .set %p5c4 $null }
    if ($4 == 5) { .set %p5selection3 %p5c5 | .set %p5c5 $null }
    if ($4 == 6) { .set %p5selection3 %p5c6 | .set %p5c6 $null }
    if ($4 == 7) { .set %p5selection3 %p5c7 | .set %p5c7 $null }
    .set %p5fullselection %p5selection1 AND %p5selection2 AND %p5selection3
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer6) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c1 | .set %p6c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c2 | .set %p6c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c3 | .set %p6c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c4 | .set %p6c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c5 | .set %p6c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c6 | .set %p6c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p6selection1 %p6c7 | .set %p6c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c1 | .set %p6c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c2 | .set %p6c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c3 | .set %p6c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c4 | .set %p6c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c5 | .set %p6c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c6 | .set %p6c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p6selection2 %p6c7 | .set %p6c7 $null }
    if ($4 == 1) { .set %p6selection3 %p6c1 | .set %p6c1 $null }
    if ($4 == 2) { .set %p6selection3 %p6c2 | .set %p6c2 $null }
    if ($4 == 3) { .set %p6selection3 %p6c3 | .set %p6c3 $null }
    if ($4 == 4) { .set %p6selection3 %p6c4 | .set %p6c4 $null }
    if ($4 == 5) { .set %p6selection3 %p6c5 | .set %p6c5 $null }
    if ($4 == 6) { .set %p6selection3 %p6c6 | .set %p6c6 $null }
    if ($4 == 7) { .set %p6selection3 %p6c7 | .set %p6c7 $null }
    .set %p6fullselection %p6selection1 AND %p6selection2 AND %p6selection3
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer7) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c1 | .set %p7c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c2 | .set %p7c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c3 | .set %p7c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c4 | .set %p7c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c5 | .set %p7c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c6 | .set %p7c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p7selection1 %p7c7 | .set %p7c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c1 | .set %p7c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c2 | .set %p7c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c3 | .set %p7c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c4 | .set %p7c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c5 | .set %p7c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c6 | .set %p7c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p7selection2 %p7c7 | .set %p7c7 $null }
    if ($4 == 1) { .set %p7selection3 %p7c1 | .set %p7c1 $null }
    if ($4 == 2) { .set %p7selection3 %p7c2 | .set %p7c2 $null }
    if ($4 == 3) { .set %p7selection3 %p7c3 | .set %p7c3 $null }
    if ($4 == 4) { .set %p7selection3 %p7c4 | .set %p7c4 $null }
    if ($4 == 5) { .set %p7selection3 %p7c5 | .set %p7c5 $null }
    if ($4 == 6) { .set %p7selection3 %p7c6 | .set %p7c6 $null }
    if ($4 == 7) { .set %p7selection3 %p7c7 | .set %p7c7 $null }
    .set %p7fullselection %p7selection1 AND %p7selection2 AND %p7selection3
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer8) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c1 | .set %p8c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c2 | .set %p8c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c3 | .set %p8c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c4 | .set %p8c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c5 | .set %p8c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c6 | .set %p8c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p8selection1 %p8c7 | .set %p8c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c1 | .set %p8c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c2 | .set %p8c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c3 | .set %p8c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c4 | .set %p8c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c5 | .set %p8c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c6 | .set %p8c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p8selection2 %p8c7 | .set %p8c7 $null }
    if ($4 == 1) { .set %p8selection3 %p8c1 | .set %p8c1 $null }
    if ($4 == 2) { .set %p8selection3 %p8c2 | .set %p8c2 $null }
    if ($4 == 3) { .set %p8selection3 %p8c3 | .set %p8c3 $null }
    if ($4 == 4) { .set %p8selection3 %p8c4 | .set %p8c4 $null }
    if ($4 == 5) { .set %p8selection3 %p8c5 | .set %p8c5 $null }
    if ($4 == 6) { .set %p8selection3 %p8c6 | .set %p8c6 $null }
    if ($4 == 7) { .set %p8selection3 %p8c7 | .set %p8c7 $null }
    .set %p8fullselection %p8selection1 AND %p8selection2 AND %p8selection3
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer9) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c1 | .set %p9c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c2 | .set %p9c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c3 | .set %p9c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c4 | .set %p9c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c5 | .set %p9c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c6 | .set %p9c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p9selection1 %p9c7 | .set %p9c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c1 | .set %p9c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c2 | .set %p9c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c3 | .set %p9c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c4 | .set %p9c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c5 | .set %p9c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c6 | .set %p9c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p9selection2 %p9c7 | .set %p9c7 $null }
    if ($4 == 1) { .set %p9selection3 %p9c1 | .set %p9c1 $null }
    if ($4 == 2) { .set %p9selection3 %p9c2 | .set %p9c2 $null }
    if ($4 == 3) { .set %p9selection3 %p9c3 | .set %p9c3 $null }
    if ($4 == 4) { .set %p9selection3 %p9c4 | .set %p9c4 $null }
    if ($4 == 5) { .set %p9selection3 %p9c5 | .set %p9c5 $null }
    if ($4 == 6) { .set %p9selection3 %p9c6 | .set %p9c6 $null }
    if ($4 == 7) { .set %p9selection3 %p9c7 | .set %p9c7 $null }
    .set %p9fullselection %p9selection1 AND %p9selection2 AND %p9selection3
  }
  if ($nick == %cahplayer10) {
    if ($2 == 1) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c1 | .set %p10c1 $null }
    if ($2 == 2) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c2 | .set %p10c2 $null }
    if ($2 == 3) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c3 | .set %p10c3 $null }
    if ($2 == 4) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c4 | .set %p10c4 $null }
    if ($2 == 5) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c5 | .set %p10c5 $null }
    if ($2 == 6) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c6 | .set %p10c6 $null }
    if ($2 == 7) { .set %p10selection1 %p10c7 | .set %p10c7 $null }
    if ($3 == 1) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c1 | .set %p10c1 $null }
    if ($3 == 2) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c2 | .set %p10c2 $null }
    if ($3 == 3) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c3 | .set %p10c3 $null }
    if ($3 == 4) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c4 | .set %p10c4 $null }
    if ($3 == 5) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c5 | .set %p10c5 $null }
    if ($3 == 6) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c6 | .set %p10c6 $null }
    if ($3 == 7) { .set %p10selection2 %p10c7 | .set %p10c7 $null }
    if ($4 == 1) { .set %p10selection3 %p10c1 | .set %p10c1 $null }
    if ($4 == 2) { .set %p10selection3 %p10c2 | .set %p10c2 $null }
    if ($4 == 3) { .set %p10selection3 %p10c3 | .set %p10c3 $null }
    if ($4 == 4) { .set %p10selection3 %p10c4 | .set %p10c4 $null }
    if ($4 == 5) { .set %p10selection3 %p10c5 | .set %p10c5 $null }
    if ($4 == 6) { .set %p10selection3 %p10c6 | .set %p10c6 $null }
    if ($4 == 7) { .set %p10selection3 %p10c7 | .set %p10c7 $null }
    .set %p10fullselection %p10selection1 AND %p10selection2 AND %p10selection3
  }
}

on *:TEXT:!readytojudge:#:{
  if (%howmanyplayers == 3) {
    .set %displayorder $rand(1,3)
    if (%displayorder == 1) { msg $chan A. %p1fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer1 | msg $chan B. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer3 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 }
    if (%displayorder == 2) { msg $chan A. %p3fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer3 | msg $chan B. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer1 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 }
    if (%displayorder == 3) { msg $chan A. %p2fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer2 | msg $chan B. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer1 | msg $chan C. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer3 }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 4) {
    .set %displayorder $rand(1,4)
    if (%displayorder == 1) { msg $chan A. %p1fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer1 | msg $chan B. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer3 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 }
    if (%displayorder == 2) { msg $chan A. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer4 | msg $chan B. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer2 | msg $chan C. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer1 | msg $chan D. %p3fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer3 }
    if (%displayorder == 3) { msg $chan A. %p2fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer2 | msg $chan B. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer1 | msg $chan C. %p4fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer4 | msg $chan D. %p3fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer3 }
    if (%displayorder == 4) { msg $chan A. %p3fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer3 | msg $chan B. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer1 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 5) {
    .set %displayorder $rand(1,4)
    if (%displayorder == 1) { msg $chan A. %p1fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer1 | msg $chan B. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer3 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p5fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer5 }
    if (%displayorder == 2) { msg $chan A. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer4 | msg $chan B. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer2 | msg $chan C. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer1 | msg $chan D. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer5 | msg $chan E. %p3fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer3 }
    if (%displayorder == 3) { msg $chan A. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer5 | msg $chan B. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer1 | msg $chan C. %p4fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer4 | msg $chan D. %p3fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer3 | msg $chan E. %p2fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer2 }
    if (%displayorder == 4) { msg $chan A. %p3fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer3 | msg $chan B. %p5fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer5 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p1fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer1 }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 6) {
    .set %displayorder $rand(1,4)
    if (%displayorder == 1) { msg $chan A. %p1fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer1 | msg $chan B. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer3 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p5fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer5 | msg $chan F. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer6 }
    if (%displayorder == 2) { msg $chan A. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer4 | msg $chan B. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer2 | msg $chan C. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer1 | msg $chan D. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer5 | msg $chan E. %p6fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer6 | msg $chan F. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer3 }
    if (%displayorder == 3) { msg $chan A. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer5 | msg $chan B. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer6 | msg $chan C. %p4fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer4 | msg $chan D. %p3fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer3 | msg $chan E. %p2fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer2 | msg $chan F. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer1 }
    if (%displayorder == 4) { msg $chan A. %p6fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer6 | msg $chan B. %p5fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer5 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p1fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer1 | msg $chan F. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer3 }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 7) {
    .set %displayorder $rand(1,4)
    if (%displayorder == 1) { msg $chan A. %p1fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer1 | msg $chan B. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer3 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p5fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer5 | msg $chan F. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer6 | msg $chan G. %p7fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer7 }
    if (%displayorder == 2) { msg $chan A. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer4 | msg $chan B. %p7fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer7 | msg $chan C. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer1 | msg $chan D. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer5 | msg $chan E. %p6fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer6 | msg $chan F. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer3 | msg $chan G. %p2fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer2 }
    if (%displayorder == 3) { msg $chan A. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer5 | msg $chan B. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer6 | msg $chan C. %p7fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer7 | msg $chan D. %p3fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer3 | msg $chan E. %p2fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer2 | msg $chan F. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer1 | msg $chan G. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer4 }
    if (%displayorder == 4) { msg $chan A. %p6fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer6 | msg $chan B. %p7fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer7 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p1fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer1 | msg $chan F. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer3 | msg $chan G. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer5 }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 8) {
    .set %displayorder $rand(1,4)
    if (%displayorder == 1) { msg $chan A. %p1fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer1 | msg $chan B. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer3 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p5fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer5 | msg $chan F. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer6 | msg $chan G. %p7fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer7 | msg $chan H. %p8fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer8 }
    if (%displayorder == 2) { msg $chan A. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer4 | msg $chan B. %p7fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer7 | msg $chan C. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer1 | msg $chan D. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer5 | msg $chan E. %p6fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer6 | msg $chan F. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer3 | msg $chan G. %p8fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer8 | msg $chan H. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer2 }
    if (%displayorder == 3) { msg $chan A. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer5 | msg $chan B. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer6 | msg $chan C. %p7fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer7 | msg $chan D. %p8fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer8 | msg $chan E. %p2fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer2 | msg $chan F. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer1 | msg $chan G. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer4 | msg $chan H. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer3 }
    if (%displayorder == 4) { msg $chan A. %p8fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer8 | msg $chan B. %p7fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer7 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p1fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer1 | msg $chan F. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer3 | msg $chan G. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer5 | msg $chan H. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer6 }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 9) {
    .set %displayorder $rand(1,4)
    if (%displayorder == 1) { msg $chan A. %p1fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer1 | msg $chan B. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer3 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p5fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer5 | msg $chan F. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer6 | msg $chan G. %p7fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer7 | msg $chan H. %p8fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer8 | msg $chan I. %p9fullselection | .set %selectioni %cahplayer9 }
    if (%displayorder == 2) { msg $chan A. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer4 | msg $chan B. %p9fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer9 | msg $chan C. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer1 | msg $chan D. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer5 | msg $chan E. %p6fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer6 | msg $chan F. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer3 | msg $chan G. %p8fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer8 | msg $chan H. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer2 | msg $chan I. %p7fullselection | .set %selectioni %cahplayer7 }
    if (%displayorder == 3) { msg $chan A. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer5 | msg $chan B. %p9fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer9 | msg $chan C. %p7fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer7 | msg $chan D. %p8fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer8 | msg $chan E. %p2fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer2 | msg $chan F. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer1 | msg $chan G. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer4 | msg $chan H. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer3 | msg $chan I. %p6fullselection | .set %selectioni %cahplayer6 }
    if (%displayorder == 4) { msg $chan A. %p8fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer8 | msg $chan B. %p7fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer7 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p1fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer1 | msg $chan F. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer3 | msg $chan G. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer5 | msg $chan H. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer6 | msg $chan I. %p9fullselection | .set %selectioni %cahplayer9 }
  }
  if (%howmanyplayers == 10) {
    .set %displayorder $rand(1,4)
    if (%displayorder == 1) { msg $chan A. %p1fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer1 | msg $chan B. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer3 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p5fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer5 | msg $chan F. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer6 | msg $chan G. %p7fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer7 | msg $chan H. %p8fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer8 | msg $chan I. %p9fullselection | .set %selectioni %cahplayer9 | msg $chan J. %p10fullselection | .set %selectionj %cahplayer10 }
    if (%displayorder == 2) { msg $chan A. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer4 | msg $chan B. %p9fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer9 | msg $chan C. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer1 | msg $chan D. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer5 | msg $chan E. %p6fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer6 | msg $chan F. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer3 | msg $chan G. %p8fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer8 | msg $chan H. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer2 | msg $chan I. %p7fullselection | .set %selectioni %cahplayer7 | msg $chan J. %p10fullselection | .set %selectionj %cahplayer10 }
    if (%displayorder == 3) { msg $chan A. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer5 | msg $chan B. %p9fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer9 | msg $chan C. %p10fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer10 | msg $chan D. %p8fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer8 | msg $chan E. %p2fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer2 | msg $chan F. %p1fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer1 | msg $chan G. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer4 | msg $chan H. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer3 | msg $chan I. %p6fullselection | .set %selectioni %cahplayer6 | msg $chan J. %p7fullselection | .set %selectionj %cahplayer7 }
    if (%displayorder == 4) { msg $chan A. %p10fullselection | .set %selectiona %cahplayer10 | msg $chan B. %p7fullselection | .set %selectionb %cahplayer7 | msg $chan C. %p2fullselection | .set %selectionc %cahplayer2 | msg $chan D. %p4fullselection | .set %selectiond %cahplayer4 | msg $chan E. %p1fullselection | .set %selectione %cahplayer1 | msg $chan F. %p3fullselection | .set %selectionf %cahplayer3 | msg $chan G. %p5fullselection | .set %selectiong %cahplayer5 | msg $chan H. %p6fullselection | .set %selectionh %cahplayer6 | msg $chan I. %p9fullselection | .set %selectioni %cahplayer9 | msg $chan J. %p8fullselection | .set %selectionj %cahplayer8 }
  }
}

on *:TEXT:!judge:#:{
  if ($2 == a) { msg $chan The winner of this round is %selectiona $+ ! Congratulations! To start a new round, type "!cahnextround". }
  if ($2 == b) { msg $chan The winner of this round is %selectionb $+ ! Congratulations! To start a new round, type "!cahnextround". }
  if ($2 == c) { msg $chan The winner of this round is %selectionc $+ ! Congratulations! To start a new round, type "!cahnextround". }
  if ($2 == d) { msg $chan The winner of this round is %selectiond $+ ! Congratulations! To start a new round, type "!cahnextround". }
  if ($2 == e) { msg $chan The winner of this round is %selectione $+ ! Congratulations! To start a new round, type "!cahnextround". }
  if ($2 == f) { msg $chan The winner of this round is %selectionf $+ ! Congratulations! To start a new round, type "!cahnextround". }
  if ($2 == g) { msg $chan The winner of this round is %selectiong $+ ! Congratulations! To start a new round, type "!cahnextround". }
  if ($2 == h) { msg $chan The winner of this round is %selectionh $+ ! Congratulations! To start a new round, type "!cahnextround". }
  if ($2 == i) { msg $chan The winner of this round is %selectioni $+ ! Congratulations! To start a new round, type "!cahnextround". }
}

on *:TEXT:!readmyselection:#:{
  msg $chan %p1fullselection
}

on *:TEXT:!cahcredits:#:{
  msg $chan Cards Against Humanity for IRC was implemented by EricaTigress. So far it includes the base CAH cards; expansions 1-6, PAX East 2013 Packs A, B and C; Bigger Blacker Box; 90s Nostalgia Pack; Science Pack; Fantasy Pack; Food Pack; Crabs Adjust Humidity 1 & 2
}

WHITE CARDS

“Tweeting.”
72 virgins.
8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.
A 55-gallon drum of lube.
A bag of magic beans.
A balanced breakfast.
A beached whale.
A big black dick.
A big hoopla about nothing.
"A bigger, blacker dick."
A bleached asshole.
A bloody pacifier.
A Bop It.
A brain tumor.
A Burmese tiger pit.
A can of whoop-ass.
A Christmas stocking full of coleslaw.
A clandestine butt scratch.
A cooler full of organs.
A crappy little hand.
A death ray.
A defective condom.
A disappointing birthday party.
A dollop of sour cream.
A drive-by shooting.
A falcon with a cap on its head.
A fetus.
A foul mouth.
A gassy antelope.
A gentle caress of the inner thigh.
A good sniff.
A Gypsy curse.
A homoerotic volleyball montage.
A hot mess.
A Hungry-Man Frozen Christmas Dinner for One.
A lifetime of sadness.
A look-see.
A low standard of living.
A magic hippie love cloud.
A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.
A mating display.
A micropenis.
A middle-aged man on roller skates.
A mime having a stroke.
A monkey smoking a cigar.
A mopey zoo lion.
A murder most foul.
A nuanced critique.
A passionate Latino lover.
A pinata full of scorpions.
A really cool hat.
A rival dojo
A robust mongoloid.
A sad fat dragon with no friends.
A sad handjob.
A salty surprise.
A sassy black woman.
A sausage festival.
A sea of troubles.
A slightly shittier parallel universe.
A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.
A soulful rendition of “Ol' Man River.”
A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.
A stray pube.
A Super Soaker full of cat pee.
"A sweaty, panting leather daddy."
A sweet spaceship.
A thermonuclear detonation.
A tiny horse.
A toxic family environment.
A visually arresting turtleneck.
A web of lies.
A windmill full of corpses.
A woman scorned.
A zesty breakfast burrito.
Aaron Burr.
Active listening.
Actually taking candy from a baby.
Adderall.
African children.
Agriculture.
AIDS.
Alcoholism.
All of this blood.
All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.
Altar boys.
American Gladiators.
Amputees.
An army of skeletons.
An asymmetric boob job.
An erection that lasts more than four hours.
An ether-soaked rag.
An honest cop with nothing left to lose.
An icepick lobotomy.
An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.
An Oedipus complex.
An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.
Anal beads.
Another goddamn vampire movie.
Another shitty year.
Another shop of morphine.
Apologizing.
Appreciative snapping.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Asians who aren't good at math.
Assless chaps.
Attitude.
Auschwitz.
Authentic Mexican cuisine.
Autocannibalism.
AXE body spray.
Balls.
Barack Obama.
Basic human decency.
BATMAN!!!
Beating your wives.
Beefin' over turf.
Bees?
Being a bust adult with many important things to do.
Being a dick to children.
Being a dinosaur.
Being a motherfucking sorcerer.
Being awesome at sex.
Being fabulous.
Being marginalized.
Being on fire.
Being rich.
Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Bingeing and purging.
Bitches.
Black people.
Bling.
Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars.
Boogers.
Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.
Bosnian chicken farmers.
Breaking out into song and dance.
Britney Spears at 55.
Bullshit.
Cards Against Humanity.
Carnies.
Catapults.
Catastrophic Urethral Trauma.
Centaurs.
Chainsaws for hands.
Charisma.
Cheating in the Special Olympics.
Child abuse.
Child beauty pageants.
Children on leashes.
Chivalry.
Christopher Walken.
Civilian casualties.
Clams.
Classist Undertones.
Clearing a bloody path through Walmart with a scimitar.
Coat hanger abortions.
Cockfights.
College.
Concealing a boner.
Consultants.
Copping a feel.
Coughing into a vagina.
Count Chocula.
Crippling debt.
Crystal meth.
Cuddling.
Customer service representatives.
Cybernetic enhancements.
Daddy issues.
Daddy's belt.
Dancing with a broom.
Darth Vader.
Date rape.
Dead babies.
Dead parents.
Death by Steven Seagal.
Deflowering the princess.
Dental dams.
Dick Cheney.
Dick fingers.
Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of “Friends.”
Doin' it in the butt.
Doing the right thing.
Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza.
Dorito breath.
Double penetration.
Drinking alone.
Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.
Dry heaving.
Dwarf tossing.
Dying of dysentery.
Dying.
Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.
Eating an albino.
Eating an entire snowman.
Eating the last known Bison.
Edible underpants.
Elderly Japanese men.
Elf cum.
Embryonic stem cells.
Emotions.
Enormous Scandinavian women.
Erectile dysfunction.
Estrogen.
Ethnic cleansing.
Eugenics.
Euphoria by Calvin Klein.
Exactly what you'd expect.
Exchanging pleasantries.
Existing.
Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.
Explosions.
Fabricating statistics.
Famine.
Fancy Feast.
Farting and walking away.
Fear itself.
Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.
Fetal alcohol syndrome.
Fiery poops.
Figgy pudding.
Finding a skeleton.
Finding Waldo.
Finger painting.
Fingering.
Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.
Five-Dollar Footlongs.
Flash flooding.
Flesh-eating bacteria.
Flightless birds.
Flying sex snakes.
Foreskin.
Forgetting the Alamo.
Former President George W. Bush.
Free samples.
Friction.
Friendly fire.
Friends who eat all the snacks.
Friends with benefits.
Frolicking.
Fuck Mountain.
Fucking up “Silent Night” in front of 300 parents.
Full frontal nudity.
Gandalf.
Geese.
Genetically engineered super-soldiers.
Genghis Khan.
Genital piercings.
George Clooney's musk.
German dungeon porn.
Getting abducted by Peter Pan.
Getting drunk on mouthwash.
Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.
"Getting in her pants, politely."
Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.
Getting really high.
Getting so angry that you pop a boner.
Ghandi.
Ghosts.
Gift-wrapping a live hamster.
Giving 110%.
Gladitorial combat.
Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards.
Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook.
Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts.
Global warming.
Gloryholes.
Goats eating cans.
Goblins.
God.
GoGurt.
Golden showers.
Good grammar.
Grandma.
Grandpa's ashes.
"Graphic violence, adult language and some sexual content."
Grave robbing.
Guys who don't call.
Half-assed foreplay.
Harry Potter erotica.
Heartwarming orphans.
"Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II."
Heteronormativity.
Hillary Clinton's death stare.
Hipsters.
Historical revisionism.
Historically black colleges.
Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine.
Homeless people.
Hope.
Hormone injections.
Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.
Horse meat.
Hot Cheese.
Hot people.
Hot Pockets.
Hulk Hogan.
Hurricane Katrina.
Immaculate conception.
Inappropriate yodeling.
Incest.
Insatiable bloodlust.
Intelligent design.
Intimacy problems.
Italians.
Jafar.
Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Jeff Goldblum.
Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.
Jew-fros.
Jewish fraternities.
Jibber-jabber.
John Wilkes Booth.
Judge Judy.
Just the tip.
Justin Bieber.
Kamikaze pilots.
Kanye West.
Keanu Reaves.
Keg stands.
Kids with ass cancer.
Kim-Jong-il.
"Krampus, the Austrian Christmas Monster."
Lactation.
Lady Gaga.
Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.
Land mines.
Laying an egg.
Leaving an awkward voicemail.
Leprosy.
Leveling up.
Licking things to claim them as your own.
Literally eating shit.
Living in a trashcan.
Lockjaw.
"Loki, the trickster god."
Loose lips.
Lumberjack fantasies.
Lunchables.
Mad hacky-sack skills.
Making a friend.
Making a pouty face.
Making the penises kiss.
Making the penises kiss.
Mall Santa.
Man meat.
Masturbation.
Me time.
Me.
MechaHitler.
Media coverage.
Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament.
Men.
Menstruation.
Michael Jackson.
Michelle Obama's arms.
Mild autism.
Mooing.
Moral ambiguity.
Morgan Freeman's voice.
Mouth herpes.
"Mr. Clean, right behind you."
Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him).
Multiple stab wounds.
Mutually-assured destruction.
My collection of high-tech sex toys.
My first kill.
My genitals.
My hot cousin.
My humps.
My inner demons.
My machete.
My relationship status.
My sex life.
My soul.
My vagina.
Natalie Portman.
Natural male enhancement.
Natural selection.
Nazis.
Necrophilia.
Neil Patrick Harris.
New Age music.
Nickelback.
Nicolas Cage.
Nipple blades.
Nocturnal emissions.
Not giving a shit about the Third World.
Not reciprocating oral sex.
Nublile slave boys.
Nunchuck moves.
Obesity.
Object permanence.
Old-people smell.
Ominous background music.
One Ring to rule them all.
One thousand Slim Jims.
Oompa-Loompas.
Opposable thumbs.
Overcompensation.
Overpowering your father.
Oversized lollipops.
Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.
Panda sex.
Panty raids.
Parting the Red Sea.
Party poopers.
Passable transvestites.
Passing a kidney stone.
Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.
Pedophiles.
Peeing a little bit.
Penis envy.
Picking up girls at the abortion clinic.
Pictures of boobs.
Pistol-whipping a hostage.
Pixelated bukkake.
Police brutality.
Pooping back and forth. Forever.
Poor life choices.
Poor people.
Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.
Porn stars.
Powerful thighs.
Prancing.
Praying the gay away.
Preteens.
Pretending to be happy.
Pretending to care.
Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game.
Pterodactyl eggs.
Puberty.
Public ridicule.
"Pulling out,"
Pumping out a baby every nine months.
Puppies!
Queefing.
Quiche.
Quivering jowls.
Racially-biased SAT questions.
Racism.
Raping and pillaging.
Re-gifting.
"Repression,."
Republicans.
Revenge fucking.
Riding off into the sunset.
Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.
Rising from the grave.
Road head.
"Robert Downey, Jr."
RoboCop.
Ronald Reagan.
Roofies.
Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.
Same-sex ice dancing.
Santa Claus.
Santa's heavy sack.
Sarah Palin.
Saxophone solos.
Scalping.
Science.
"Scientology,"
Scrotal frostbite.
Scrotum tickling.
Scrubbing under the folds.
Sean Connery.
Sean Penn.
Seduction.
Self-loathing.
Seppuku.
Serfdom.
Several intertwining love stories featuring Hugh Grant.
Sexting.
Sexual humiliation.
Sexual tension.
Sexy pillow fights.
Sexy siamese twins.
Shaft.
Shapeshifters.
Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.
Sharing needles.
Skeletor.
Slow motion.
Smallpox blankets.
Smegma.
Sniffing glue.
Socks.
Soiling oneself.
Some really fucked-up shit.
Soup that is too hot.
Space Jam on VHS.
Space muffins.
"Special musical guest, Cher."
Spectacular abs.
Sperm whales.
Spontaneous human combustion.
Spring break!
Statistically validated stereotypes.
Stephen Hawking talking dirty.
Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.
Stranger danger.
Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.
Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.
Suicidal thoughts.
Sunshine and rainbows.
Surprise sex!
Survivor's guilt.
"Sweet, sweet vengeance."
Swiftly achieving orgasm.
Switching to Geico.
Swooping.
Take-backsies.
Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.
Taking down Santa with a surface-to-air missiles.
Taking off your shirt.
Tangled Slinkys.
Tasteful sideboob.
Teaching a robot to love.
Team-building exercises.
Teenage pregnancy.
Tentacle porn.
Testicular torsion.
That thing that electrocutes your abs.
The American Dream.
The Big Bang.
The Blood of Christ.
The boners of the elderly.
The Care Bear Stare.
The Chinese gymnastics team.
The chronic.
The clitoris.
The corporations.
The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.
The day the birds attacked.
The Donald Trump Seal of Approval.
The economy.
The Fanta girls.
The folly of man.
The forbidden fruit.
The Force.
The four arms of Vishnu.
The gays.
The glass ceiling.
The Google.
The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.
The Gulags.
The Hamburglar.
The hardworking Mexican.
The harsh light of day.
The heart of a child.
The hiccups.
The Holy Bible.
The homosexual agenda.
The human body.
The Hustle.
The inevitable heat death of the universe.
The invisible hand.
The Jews.
The KKK.
The Kool-Aid Man.
The Little Engine That Could.
The Make-A-Wish foundation.
The mere concept of Applebee's.
The milk man.
The miracle of childbirth.
The mixing of the races.
The new Radiohead album.
The placenta.
The Pope.
The profoundly handicapped.
The Rapture.
"The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr."
The shambling corpse of Larry King.
The South.
The Star Wars Holiday Special.
The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.
The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System.
The terrorists.
The Three-Fifths Compromise.
The tiny calloused hands of the Chinese  children that made this card.
The token minority.
The Trail of Tears.
The true meaning of Christmas.
The Ubermensch.
The underground railroad.
The violation of our most basic human rights.
The Virginia Tech Massacre.
The World of Warcraft.
Third base.
Tiny nipples.
Tom Cruise.
Tongue.
Toni Morrison's vagina.
Too much hair gel.
Tripping balls.
Two midgets shitting into a bucket.
Unfathomable stupidity.
Upgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.
Uppercuts.
Vehicular manslaughter.
Viagra.
Vigilante justice.
Vigorous jazz hands.
Vikings.
Waiting 'til marriage.
Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.
Waterboarding.
Weapons-grade plutonium.
Wearing an octopus for a hat.
Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.
Whatever Kwanzaa is supposed to be about.
When you fart and a little bit comes out.
Whining like a little bitch.
Whipping a disobedient slave.
Whipping it out.
White people.
White privilege.
Wifely duties.
William Shatner.
Winking at old people.
Wiping her butt.
Women in yogurt commercials.
Women's suffrage.
"Words, words, words."
World peace.
Yeast.
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.
Zeus's sexual appetites.
That ass.
Nothing.
Shutting the fuck up.
"The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now."
A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.
Cock.
A cop who is also a dog.
Dying alone and in pain.
Gay aliens.
The way white people is.
Reverse cowgirl.
The Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili’s.
"Actually getting shot, for real."
Not having sex.
Vietnam flashbacks.
"Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere."
"Warm, velvety muppet sex."
Self-flagellation.
The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.
Samuel L. Jackson.
A boo-boo.
Going around punching people.
The entire Internet.
Some kind of bird-man.
Chugging a lava lamp.
Having sex on top of a pizza.
Indescribable loneliness.
An ass disaster.
All my friends dying.
Putting an entire peanut buter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.
Spending lots of money.
Some douche with an acoustic guitar.
Flying robots that kill people.
A greased-up Matthew McConaughey.
An unstoppable wave of fire ants.
Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.
An all-midget production of Shakespeare’s Richard III.
Screaming like a maniac.
"The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth."
Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.
"Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks."
Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.
Velcro.
A PowerPoint presentation.
A surprising amount of hair.
Eating Tom Selleck’s mustache to gain his powers.
"Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king."
A pile of squirming bodies.
Buying the right pants to be cool.
Blood farts.
Three months in the hole.
A botched circumcision.
The Land of Chocolate.
Slapping a racist old lady.
A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint.
Jumping out at people.
"A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie."
Mufasa’s death scene.
"Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone."
Demonic possession.
The Harlem Globetrotters.
Vomiting mid-blowjob.
"My manservant, Claude."
Having shotguns for legs.
Letting everyone down.
A spontaneous conga line.
A vagina that leads to another dimension.
Disco fever.
Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick.
Fisting.
The thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn.
Girls that always be textin’.
Blowing some dudes in an alley.
Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy.
"Sneezing, farting, and coming at the same time. "
An immediately regrettable $9 hot dog from the Boston Convention Center.
Running out of stamina.
Casting Magic Missle at a bully.
Getting bitch slapped by Dhalsim.
Firefly: Season 2.
Rotating shapes in mid-air so that they fit into other shapes when they fall.
Jiggle physics.
Paying the iron price.
Loading from a previous save.
Sharpening a foam broadsword on a foam whetstone.
The rocket launcher.
The depression that ensues after catching ’em all.
Violating the First Law of Robotics.
Getting inside the Horadric Cube with a hot babe and pressing the transmute button.
Punching a tree to gather wood.
Spending the year’s insulin budget on Warhammer 40k figurines.
Achieving 500 actions per minute.
Forgetting to eat, and consequently dying.
Wil Wheaton crashing an actual spaceship.
The Klobb.
Charging up all the way.
Vespene gas.
Judging elves by the color of their skin and not by the content of their character.
Smashing all the pottery in a Pottery Barn in search of rupees.
A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.
A sex goblin with a carnival penis.
Lots and lots of abortions.
Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other.
Sharks with legs.
A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness.
How awesome I am.
Smoking crack, for instance.
A dance move that’s just sex.
A hopeless amount of spiders.
Drinking responsibly.
Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of the night.
Bouncing up and down.
A shiny rock that proves I love you.
Crazy opium eyes.
Moderate-to-severe joint pain.
Finally finishing off the Indians.
Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.
The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East.
Neil Diamond’s Greatest Hits.
No clothes on, penis in vagina.
Whispering all sexy.
A horse with no legs.
Depression.
Almost giving money to a homeless person.
Interspecies marriage.
Blackula.
What Jesus would do.
A manhole.
My dad’s dumb fucking face.
A Ugandan warlord.
My worthless son.
A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.
A kiss on the lips.
A fart.
The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China.
Snorting coke off a clown’s boner.
Three consecutive seconds of happiness.
Falling into the toilet.
Ass to mouth.
Some sort of Asian.
The size of my penis.
The safe word.
Party Mexicans.
Ambiguous sarcasm.
Jizz.
An interracial handshake.
10 Incredible Facts About the Anus.
The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction.
Sugar madness.
Calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality.
Fucking a corpse back to life.
All the single ladies.
Whatever a McRib is made of.
Africa.
The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.
Khakis.
A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.
Stuffing a child’s face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun.
A for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes.
The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real.
Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa.
Dem titties.
Exploding pigeons.
My sex dungeon.
Child Protective Services.
Doo-doo.
Sports.
Unquestioning obedience.
Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis.
A box.
A box within a box.
A boxing match with a giant box.
A box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer.
An outbreak of smallbox.
The Boxcar Children.
A world without boxes.
A box-shaped man.
A man-shaped box.
Boxing up my feelings.
Something that looks like a box but turns out to be a crate.
A box that is conscious and wishes it weren’t a box.
An alternate universe in which boxes store things inside of people.
The J15 Patriot Assault Box.
A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid.
Two midgets shitting into a box.
A falcon with a box on its head.
Being a motherfucking box.
Former President George W. Box.
Pandora’s vagina.
The biggest blackest dick.
Sucking the President’s dick.
Sunny D! Alright!
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, and my libido.
Log(TM).
Jerking off to a 10-second RealMedia clip.
Deregulating the mortgage market.
The Y2K bug.
Wearing Nicolas Cage’s face.
Stabbing the shit out of a Capri Sun.
Kurt Cobain’s death.
Freeing Willy.
Liking big butts and not being able to lie about it.
The Great Cornholio.
Pure Moods, Vol. 1.
Yelling “girl power!” and doing a high kick.
Pamela Anderson’s boobs running in slow motion.
Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time.
Angels interfering in an otherwise fair baseball game.
Getting caught up in the CROSSFIRE(TM).
Patti Mayonnaise.
Cool 90s up-in-the-front hair.
Several Michael Keatons.
A bus that will explode if it goes under 50 miles per hour.
A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.
Growing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness.
Shitting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl.
A buttload of candy.
Sucking all the milk out of a yak.
Bullets.
A man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle.
Sudden penis loss.
Getting all offended.
Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti.
One unforgettable night of passion.
Being popular and good at sports.
Filling a man’s anus with concrete.
Two whales fucking the shit out of each other.
Cool, relatable cancer teens.
The amount of gay I am.
A possible Muslim.
Unsheathing my massive horse cock.
A bowl of gourds.
The male gaze.
The power of the Dark Side.
Ripping a dog in half.
A constant need for validation.
Meaningless sex.
Such a big boy.
Throwing stones at a man until he dies.
Cancer.
Like a million alligators.
Eating together like a god damn family for once.
Cute boys.
Pussy.
Being a terrible mother.
Never having sex again.
A pizza guy who fucked up.
A whole lotta woman.
The all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing!
A peyote-fueled vision quest.
Kale.
Breastfeeding a ten year old.
Crippling social anxiety.
Immortality cream.
Texas.
Teaching a girl how to handjob the penis.
A turd.
Shapes and colors.
Whatever you wish, mother.
The haunting stare of an Iraqi child.
Robots who just want to party.
A self-microwaving burrito.
Forgetting grandma’s first name.
Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers®!
Treasures beyond your wildest dreams.
Getting shot out of a cannon.
The sweet song of sword against sword and the braying of mighty war beasts.
Walking into a glass door.
The color “puce.”
Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger’s tired body.
The eighth graders.
Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio.
The dentist.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s opinions.
Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels.
Rabies.
Important news about Taylor Swift.
Ejaculating inside another man’s wife.
Owls, the perfect predator.
Being John Malkovich.
Bathing in moonsblood and dancing around the ancient oak.
An oppressed people with a vibrant culture.
An overwhelming variety of cheeses.
Reading the entire End-User License Agreement.
Morpheus.
Peeing into a girl’s butt to make a baby.
Generally having no idea what’s going on.
No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.
A supermassive black hole.
Reconciling quantum theory with general relativity.
Electroejaculating a capuchin monkey.
Insufficient serotonin.
Evolving a labyrinthine vagina.
Getting really worried about global warming for a few seconds.
Infinity.
Oxytocin release via manual stimulation of the nipples.
Uranus.
Being knowledgeable in a narrow domain that nobody understands or cares about.
Achieving reproductive success.
Slowly evaporating.
The quiet majesty of the sea turtle.
A 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio.
Fun and interesting facts about rocks.
Photosynthesis.
Developing secondary sex characteristics.
Failing the Turing test.
Explosive decompression.
Driving into a tornado to learn about tornadoes.
David Attenborough watching us mate.
3.7 billion years of evolution.
The Sun engulfing the Earth.
The Card Neil Gaiman wrote: “Three elves at a time.”
Going on an epic adventure and learning a valuable lesson about friendship.
True love’s kiss.
Eternal darkness.
The all-seeing Eye of Sauron.
Gender equality.
Accidentally conjuring a legless horse that can’t stop ejaculating.
Hodor.
Dinosaurs who wear armor and you ride them and they kick ass.
Freaky, pan-dimensional sex with a demigod.
Bathing naked in a moonlit grove.
Kneeing a wizard in the balls.
Shitting in a wizard’s spell book and jizzing in his hat.
Handcuffing a wizard to a radiator and dousing him with kerosene.
Shooting a wizard with a gun.
A CGI dragon.
A mysterious, floating orb.
Reading The Hobbit under the covers while mom and dad scream at each other downstairs.
A magical kingdom with dragons and elves and no black people.
A gay sorceror who turns everyone gay.
A Hitachi Magic Wand.
A dwarf who won’t leave you alone until you compare penis sizes.
How hot Orlando Bloom was in Lord of the Rings.
A ghoul.
A weed elemental who gets everyone high.
Make-believe stories for autistic white men.
Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man.
Being emotionally and physically dominated by Gordon Ramsay.
Soup that’s better than pussy.
Father’s forbidden chocolates.
Real cheese flavor.
Oreos for dinner.
Committing suicide at the Old Country Buffet.
Kale farts.
Sucking down thousands of pounds of krill every day.
The inaudible scream of carrots.
Clamping down on a gazelle’s jugular and tasting its warm life waters.
A table for one at The Cheesecake Factory.
A belly full of hard-boiled eggs.
Kevin Bacon Bits.
Jizz Twinkies.
The hot dog I put in my vagina ten days ago.
Not knowing what to believe anymore about butter.
The Hellman’s Mayonnaise Corporation.
A sobering quantity of chili cheese fries.
Going vegetarian and feeling so great all the time.
Licking the cake batter off of grandma’s fingers.
The Dial-A-Slice Apple Divider from Williams-Sonoma.
A joyless vegan patty.
What to do with all of this chocolate on my penis
A beard longer than 12 inches.
A $50 cup of coffee literally made from cat shit.
A four-inch clit.
A hamster with a throbbing erection.
A mazel tov cocktail.
A nugget of poo roughly the size and shape of a crouton.
A prehensile penis.
A sexually aggressive koala.
A shockingly flatulent bobcat.
"A strong, independent woman who don't need no man."
A tossed salad.
An asexual bonobo.
An entire bottle of Jägermeister®.
An extra-large can of Bone Bashful™ brand Chinchilla Pudding Sauce.
"An Oosik, or Inuit war club made from the penis bone of a walrus."
An overly-enthusiastic prostate exam.
An unsurprising rash.
Axl Rose.
Bacon-flavored lube
Bacon that can feel pain.
Being born with a tail.
Being kicked in the ovaries.
Being punk in drublic.
Being raped to sleep by dickwolves.
"Belching out the lyrics to "Hey Jude."
Bono.<br>Just... Bono.
Bronies.
Cockasaurus rex: the horniest dinosaur of them all.
Cocktimus Prime: the laser-guided dildo rocket.
Costco® food samples.
Death by snu-snu.
Droppin' the mic.
Enrolling in clown school.
Erotic balloon animals.
"Explaining how I got the nickname "Nibbleberries."
"Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
Flop sweat.
Gilbert Gottfried's voice.
Giving Anne Frank a drum it for her birthday.
Giving the tumor a cutesy name.
"Googling "Betty White nude."
"Grandma's wet, sloppy kisses."
"Honey Boo Boo shotgunning a 2-litre bottle of "go-go juice."
Insisting that Jesus is technically a zombie.
JJ Abrams putting lens flares all over everything.
Joe Biden getting his freak on.
"Joffrey Baratheon, the loathsome little shit."
Lego® recreations of famous porn scenes.
Michele Bachmann furiously masturbating with a coathanger.
Mitt Romney doing a burlesque routine in a giant champagne glass.
Monkey torture.
"My level 90 night elf, Leafshit Puddingsbane."
"Natalie Portman naked, petrified, and covered in hot grits."
Officially no longer giving a shit.
Plato's Allegory of the Cave or some other pretentious bullshit.
Posting on www.reddit.com/r/gonewild/
Pretending to be a malfunctioning robot.
Pretending to have the hiccups.
"Pronouncing "quinoa" properly."
Racist ninjas.
Raptor Jesus.
Reluctant anal.
Selling out.
Sexy witches.
Slightly more than 3 ounces of cum.
S'more Schnapps.
Steaming hot lemonade.
Struggle snuggles.
"That "not-so-fresh" feeling."
The combined fat from all of the Kardashian's liposuction procedures.
The fabled Mongolian Death Worm.
The green apple splatters.
The Slender Man.
The TARDIS.
Touching each other's butts.
Using teeth.
Van Gogh's severed ear.
Weaponized ebola.
Wielding a toddler as a weapon.
WINNING!!
Yoga pants.
The cliterati.
Killing hobos.
Being circumcised with a deli slicer.
Kentucky Fried Children.
A hairshirt.
Swallowing a cue ball.
Making vigorous love to a Taco Bell® Beefy 5-Layer Burrito™.
Slowly waving an oversized Jamaican flag.
A breakfast sausage with serious emotional problems.
Poop soup.
"Cockulous Maximus, tremoundous tallywacker of Tripoli."
"Her dry, scaly hands."
A 5 lb. bag of gummy bears.
Spking the juice at AA.
"The smooth, unblemished skin of a child."
"Ted Nugent's cold, dead hands."
Pooping in public.
A were-salmon.
Using a zip-tie as an impromptu cock-ring.
"Barfing into a tiny, bejewled handbag."
Mesothelioma.
Uncontrollably retching at the mere mention of mayonnaise.
Hooking up at a Tegan & Sarah concert.
A bachelor's degree in communication.
An angry little man.
Gazpacho tactics.
An effeminate southern homophobe.
Being small but perfectly well formed.
Wearing your IUD into an MRI.
Blisterning barnacles!
"Mongolian "beef."
"Hakuna matata, motherfucker."
The whole goddamned thing.
Tacos.
The creative use of a pool noodle.
That thing with the spoon.
Sploosh!
A chair that likes to rape people.
Bourbon pong.
Painal.
Japanese rope technique.
Self-replicating fudge.
Rock bottom.
Titty sprinkles.
Paula Deen's dietitian.
A blanket with a hole in it.
"Not being too smelly, you know, in the cellar. Down Below."
Tufted ears.
A sense of resignation.
"A warm, gently fragrant biscuit."
A slack-jawed yokel.
Using tears as lubricant.
The soft love-honks of a lusty goose.
A tender rodgering.
"Cockissimo Fantastico, the legendary lover with a wondrous wang."
A bit o' the ol' slap and tickle.
"One whose nether regions are vast and backoning, like unto a corridor down which a frankfurther might be thrown."
A good schtupping.
A jury of your peers.
Being able to name all of the different kinds of olives.
A cunning stunt.
A husband bulge.
Something Elon Musk though up while floating six inches above the floor in a meditative trance.
Self-medicating.
A gratuitous claymation sequence.
Bitch tits.
Reptilians.
"A younger, vastly more attractive spouse."
Those creamy atheist thights.
A stinky pinky.
Wearing a blue fox fursuit on Casual Friday.
Applying to a new guild.
Opening for Sigur Rós.
One Direction.
Minimum wage.
Rich Corinthian leather.
Running around like a guy with his chicken cut out.
Giving your pet lamb a Brazilian.

BLACK CARDS

 *BLANK*  kid *BLANK* tested mother *BLANK* approved.
 *BLANK* : good to the last drop.
 *BLANK* ? There's an app for that.
 *BLANK* . Betcha can't have just one.
 *BLANK* . High five bro.
 *BLANK* . It's a trap!
 *BLANK* . That's how I want to die.
"(Draw 2, Pick 3)  *BLANK*  +  *BLANK*  =  *BLANK* "
"(Draw 2, Pick 3) I went from *BLANK* to  *BLANK* , all thanks to."
"(Draw 2, Pick 3) Make a haiku."
(Pick 2)  *BLANK*  would be woefully incomplete without  *BLANK* .
(Pick 2) *BLANK* is a slippery slope that leads to  *BLANK* .
(Pick 2) An international tribunal has found *BLANK* guilty of  *BLANK* .
(Pick 2) An the Academy Award for *BLANK* goes to  *BLANK* .
"(Pick 2) Before  *BLANK* , all we had was *BLANK* ."
"(Pick 2) Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the office of *BLANK* has denied your request for  *BLANK* ."
"(Pick 2) For my next trick, I will pull *BLANK* out of  *BLANK* ."
(Pick 2) I never truly understood *BLANK* until I encountered  *BLANK* .
"(Pick 2) I spent my whole life working toward  *BLANK* , only to have it ruined by  *BLANK* ."
"(Pick 2) If God didn't want us to enjoy  *BLANK* , he wouldn't have given us  *BLANK* ."
"(Pick 2) In a pinch,  *BLANK*  can be a suitable substitute for  *BLANK* ."
"(Pick 2) In a world ravaged by  *BLANK* , our only solace is  *BLANK* ."
"(Pick 2) In M. Night Shamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that *BLANK* had really been *BLANK* all along."
"(Pick 2) Lifetime presents  *BLANK* , the story of  *BLANK* ."
(Pick 2) Michael Bay's new three *BLANK* hour action epic pits *BLANK* against  *BLANK* .
(Pick 2) Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin's favorite dish is *BLANK* stuffed with  *BLANK* .
(Pick 2) Step 1:  *BLANK*  Step 2 *BLANK*  Step 3: Profit.
(Pick 2) That's right I killed  *BLANK* . How you ask?  *BLANK* .
(Pick 2) What's the next superhero/sidekick duo?
(Pick 2) When I was tripping on acid *BLANK* turned into  *BLANK* .
(Pick 2) You haven't truly lived until you've experienced *BLANK* and *BLANK* at the same time.
A romantic candlelit dinner would be incomplete without  *BLANK* .
"After blacking out during New Year's Eve, I was awoken by  *BLANK* ."
"After months of debate, the Occupy Wall Street General Assembly could only agree on “More  *BLANK* !”"
"After the earthquake, Sean Penn bought *BLANK* to the people of Haiti."
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of  *BLANK* .
"And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for  *BLANK* ."
Anthropologists have recently discovered a primitive tribe that worships  *BLANK* .
"Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with  *BLANK* ."
BILLY MAYS HERE FOR  *BLANK* .
"But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you  *BLANK* ."
Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out  *BLANK* .
"Coming to Broadway this season,  *BLANK* : The Musical."
"Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with *BLANK* and would like your advice."
"During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into  *BLANK* ."
"During Picasso's often *BLANK* overlooked Brown Period, he produced hundreds of paintings of  *BLANK* ."
"During sex, I like to think about  *BLANK* ."
Every Christmas my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about  *BLANK* .
Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for  *BLANK* .
He who controls *BLANK* controls the world.
How am I maintaining my relationship status.
"I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with."
I drink to forget  *BLANK* .
I got 99 problems but *BLANK* ain't one.
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with  *BLANK* .
"I'm sorry professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of  *BLANK* ."
"In 1,000 years when paper money is but a distant memory,  *BLANK*  will be our currency."
"In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has opened an interactive exhibit on  *BLANK* ."
"In his new self *BLANK* produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of  *BLANK* ."
"In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from  *BLANK* ."
"In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proclaims that it has finally eliminated  *BLANK* ."
"In L.A. county Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for  *BLANK* ."
"In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about  *BLANK* ."
"In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to  *BLANK* ."
"In the distant future, historians will agree that *BLANK* marked the beginning of America's decline."
"In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with *BLANK* for the first time."
"Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children  *BLANK*  ."
It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with  *BLANK* .
Jesus is  *BLANK* .
Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to  *BLANK* .
"Little Miss Muffet, Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and  *BLANK* ."
Major League Baseball has banned *BLANK* for giving players an unfair advantage.
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's  *BLANK* .
Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience  *BLANK* .
MTV's new reality show features eight washed *BLANK* up celebrities living with  *BLANK* .
"My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of  *BLANK* ."
My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found  *BLANK* .com/ *BLANK* .
My new favorite porn star is Joey “ *BLANK* ” McGee.
Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of  *BLANK* .
Next on ESPN2: The World Series of  *BLANK* .
Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about  *BLANK* .
"On the third day of Christmas, my true love game to me: three French hens, two turtle doves, and  *BLANK* ."
Only two things in life are certain: death and  *BLANK* .
Science will never explain the origin of  *BLANK* .
Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to  *BLANK* 
The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to  *BLANK* .
The class field trip was completely ruined by  *BLANK* .
"The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining,  *BLANK*  acceptance."
The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of  *BLANK* .
The socialist governments of Scandanavia have declared that access to *BLANK* is a basic human right.
"The votes are in, and the new high school mascot is  *BLANK* ."
"This holiday season, Tim Allen must overcome his fear of *BLANK* to save Christmas."
This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but with  *BLANK* .
This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for  *BLANK* .
This month's Cosmo: “Spice up your sex life by bringing *BLANK* into the bedroom.”
"This reason on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only *BLANK* and his wits."
Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about *BLANK* could kill you.
TSA guidelines now prohibit *BLANK* on airplanes.
"Wake up, America. Christmas is under attack by secular liberals and their  *BLANK* ."
War! What is it good for?
What am I giving up for Lent?
What are my parents hiding from me?
What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?
What did I bring back from Mexico?
What did the US airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?
What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
What do old people smell like?
What does Dick Cheney prefer?
What don't you want to find in your Chinese food?
What ended my last relationship?
What gets better with age?
What gives me uncontrollable gas?
What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?
What helps Obama unwind?
What is Batman's guilty pleasure?
"What keeps me warm during the cold, cold winter?"
What never fails to liven up the party?
What people like  *BLANK* .
What will always get you laid?
What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard?
"What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?"
What's a girl's best friend?
What's my anti *BLANK* drug?
What's my secret power?
What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed?
What's that smell?
What's that sound?
What's the crustiest?
What's the gift that keeps on giving?
What's the most emo?
What's the new fad diet?
What's the next Happy Meal toy?
What's there a ton of in heaven?
"When all else fails, I can always masturbate to  *BLANK* ."
"When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50 *BLANK* foot statue to commemorate  *BLANK* ."
"When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of  *BLANK* ."
"When I pooped, what came out of my butt?"
"When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of  *BLANK* ."
"When the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on  *BLANK* ."
Why am I sticky?
Why can't I sleep at night?
Why do I hurt all over?
"In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure *BLANK*  for all eternity."
A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with *BLANK* .
Lovin’ you is easy ’cause you’re *BLANK* .
My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of *BLANK*  and *BLANK* .
The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in *BLANK* .
" *BLANK*  . Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice."
I’m not like the rest of you. I’m too rich and busy for *BLANK* .
(Pick 2) *BLANK*  : Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for *BLANK* !
What left this stain on my couch?
"Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate *BLANK*  in the workplace."
"(Pick 2) When you get right down to it, *BLANK*  is just *BLANK* ."
Turns out that *BLANK* Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted.
"As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for *BLANK* ."
"Money can’t buy me love, but it can buy me *BLANK* ."
"(Pick 2) With enough time and pressure, *BLANK*  will turn into *BLANK* ."
And what did you bring for show and tell?
During high school I never really fit in until I found *BLANK*  club.
"Hey baby, come back to my place and I’ll show you *BLANK* ."
"(Pick 2) After months of practice with *BLANK* , I think I’m finally ready for *BLANK* ."
"To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of *BLANK* ."
Finally! A service that delivers *BLANK*  right to your door.
My gym teacher got fired for adding *BLANK*  to the obstacle course.
(Pick 2) Having problems with *BLANK* ? Try *BLANK* !
"As part of his contract, Prince won’t perform without *BLANK*  in his dressing room."
"(Pick 2) Listen, son. If you want to get involved with *BLANK* , I won’t stop you. Just steer clear of *BLANK* . "
I have an idea even better than Kickstarter, and it’s called *BLANK*starter.
You have been waylaid by *BLANK* and must defend yourself.
Action Stations! Action Stations! Set condition one throughout the fleet and brace for *BLANK*!
In the final round of this year’s Omegathon, Omeganauts must face off in a game of *BLANK*.
Press (down)(down)(back)(forward)(B) to unleash *BLANK*.
I don’t know exactly how I got the PAX plague, but I suspect it had something to do with *BLANK*.
What’s fun until it gets weird?
In the beginning, there was *BLANK*. And the Lord said, “Let there be *BLANK*.”
Wes Anderson’s new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with *BLANK*.
*BLANK* will never be the same after *BLANK*.
I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t allow *BLANK* at the country club.
How am I compensating for my tiny penis?
You’ve seen the bearded lady! You’ve seen the ring of fire! Now, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon *BLANK*!
We never did find *BLANK*, but along the way we sure learned a lot about *BLANK*.
She’s up all night for good fun. I’m up all night for *BLANK*.
*BLANK* may pass, but *BLANK* will last forever.
Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of *BLANK*.
Man, this is bullshit. Fuck *BLANK*.
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on *BLANK*, and then there’s some stuff about *BLANK*, and then it ends with *BLANK*.
In return for my soul, the Devil promised me *BLANK*, but all I got was *BLANK*.
The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of *BLANK*.
Alright, bros. Our frat house is condemned, and all the hot slampieces are over at Gamma Phi. That time has come to commence Operation *BLANK*.
This is the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of *BLANK*.
I’m pretty sure I’m high right now, because I’m absolutely mesmerized by *BLANK*.
It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from *BLANK*.
If you can’t handle *BLANK*, you’d better stay away from *BLANK*.
Forget everything you know about *BLANK*, because now we’ve supercharged it with *BLANK*!
Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight! You can be *BLANK*, and I’ll be *BLANK*.
This year’s hottest album is “*BLANK*” by *BLANK*.
Every step towards *BLANK* gets me a little bit closer to *BLANK*.
Oprah’s book of the month is “*BLANK* For *BLANK*: A Story of Hope.”
Do not fuck with me! I am literally *BLANK* right now.
2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and she walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me she’s looking for *BLANK*.
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?
Adventure. Romance. *BLANK*. From Paramount Pictures, “*BLANK*.”
I am become *BLANK*, destroyer of *BLANK*!
Siskel and Ebert have panned *BLANK* as “pporly conceived” and “sloppily executed.”
Up next on Nickelodeon: “Clarissa Explains *BLANK*.”
I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m *BLANK*.
How did Stella get her groove back?
Believe it or not, Jim Carrey can do a dead-on impression of *BLANK*.
It’s Morphin’ Time! Mastodon! Pterodactyl! Triceratops! Sabertooth Tiger! *BLANK*!
Tonight on SNICK: “Are You Afraid of *BLANK*?”
I work my ass off all day for this family, and this what I come home to? *BLANK*!?
I have a strict policy. First date, dinner. Second date, kiss. Third date, *BLANK*.
When I was a kid we used to play Cowboys and *BLANK*.
This is America. If you don’t work hard, you don’t succeed. I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or *BLANK*.
You Won’t Believe These 15 Hilarious *BLANK* Bloopers!
James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: *BLANK*.
Don’t worry, kid. It gets better. I’ve been living with *BLANK* for 20 years.
My grandfather worked his way up from nothing. When he came to this country, all he had was the shoes on his feet and *BLANK*.
Behind every powerful man is *BLANK*.
You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with *BLANK* every day.
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy *BLANK* by the poolside.
“This is madness!” “No. THIS IS *BLANK*!”
Listen, Gary, I like you. But if you want that corner office, you’re going to have to show me *BLANK*.
I went to the desert and ate of the peyote cactus. Turns out my spirit animal is *BLANK*.
And would you like those buffalo wings mild, hot, or *BLANK*?
The six things I could never do without: oxygen, facebook, chocolate, netflix, friends, and *BLANK* LOL!
Why won’t you make love to me anymore? Is it *BLANK*?
Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in *BLANK*. This is normal.
I’m sorry, Mrs. Chen, but there was nothing we could do. At 4:15 this morning, your son succumbed to *BLANK*.
I’m Miss Tennessee, and if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of *BLANK*.
Tonight, we will have sex. And afterwards, if you’d like, a little bit of *BLANK*.
Everybody join hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That’s the presence of *BLANK* in this room.
To become a true Yanomamo warrior, you must prove that you can withstand *BLANK* without crying out.
Y’all ready to get this thing started? I’m Nick Cannon, and this is America’s Got *BLANK*.
If you had to describe me, the Card Czar, using only one of the cards in your hand, which one would it be?
In line with our predictions, we find a robust correlation between *BLANK* and *BLANK*.
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized *BLANK* in the lab.
A study published in Nature this week found that *BLANK* is good for you in small doses.
In an attempt to recreate conditions just after the Big Bang, physicists at the LHC are observing collisions between *BLANK* and *BLANK*.
What really killed the dinosaurs?
Hey there, Young Scientists! Put on your labcoats and strap on your safety goggles, because today we’re learning about *BLANK*!
Today on Mythbusters, we find out how long *BLANK* can withstand *BLANK*.
Your father was a powerful wizard, Harry. Before he died, he left you something very precious: *BLANK*.
Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by *BLANK*.
And in the end, the dragon was not evil; he just wanted *BLANK*.
Who blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time?
Critics are raving about HBO’s new Game of Thrones spin-off, “*BLANK* of *BLANK*.”
Having tired of poetry and music, the immortal elves now fill their days with *BLANK*.
I’m Bobby Flay, and if you can’t stand *BLANK*, get out of the kitchen!
Now on Netflix: Jiro Dreams of *BLANK*.
It’s not delivery. It’s *BLANK*.
Excuse me, waiter. Could you take this back? This soup tastes like *BLANK*.
Aw babe, your burps small like *BLANK*!
Don’t miss Rachel Ray’s hit new show, Cooking with *BLANK*.
*BLANK*: Just sayin'.
*BLANK*: not even once.
A wild *BLANK* appears! You used *BLANK*! It's super effective! Pick 2
"According to a new UN treaty, *BLANK* now qualifies as a weapon of mass destruction."
"Ever since "the incident," every time I close my eyes, I still see *BLANK*."
"Gentleman, I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you her this evening. It's a long story, but it all began with *BLANK*."
How did I get this restraining order?
How did I hurt my back?
How did my grandparents make it through the Great Depression?
"I am become *BLANK*, the destroyer of worlds."
"I was once sent to the HR department for an incident involving *BLANK*, *BLANK*, and (allegedly) *BLANK*."Draw 2, Pick 3"
"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on *BLANK*---forever."
I'm gonna go build my own theme park! With *BLANK*! And *BLANK*! Pick 2
I'm so hungry I could eat *BLANK*.
"In a move that has Hollywood insiders baffled, the producers of American Idol have decided to replace host Ryan Seacrest with *BLANK*."
"In my opinion, *BLANK* is grounds for justifiable homicide."
"It took seven years in a remote Tibetan monastery, but I finally learned the art of *BLANK*."
"Like Midas reborn, everything she touches turns to *BLANK*."
Oh my God! They killed *BLANK*! You bastards!
PornHub.com's single most popular video features *BLANK* and *BLANK*. Pick 2
"So then he says, "If you want to make this relationship work, you need to give up *BLANK* and *BLANK*." As. If."Pick 2
"Thanks to *BLANK*, I now have a crippling fear of *BLANK*. "Pick 2
The best part of waking up is *BLANK*.
"The last three items on my "bucket list": "Draw 2, Pick 3"
"Three bullet points from y OKCupid® profile: *BLANK*, *BLANK*, and (most importantly), *BLANK*."Draw 2, Pick 3"
"Tonight on "My Super Sweet 16," Stephani's parents give her *BLANK*."
"Tonight on "Supernatural," Sam and Dean are forced to confront *BLANK* using only *BLANK*."Pick 2
What do we want? *BLANK*! When do we want it? Now!
What was one of the rejected flavors for Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans™?
"When I'm dating somebody, I can overlook *BLANK* and *BLANK*, but *BLANK* is a deal-breaker."Draw 2, Pick 3"
Why won't they let me in Chuck E. Cheese's® anymore?
"William Shatner's shocking new autobiography is titled "*BLANK*: The Final Frontier."
*BLANK*: it's magically delicious.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of *BLANK*, I will fear no *BLANK*."Pick 2
"Dear Dan Savage, Please help. I am unable to achieve orgasm without *BLANK*."
My tour of the White House radically escalated when Secret Service caught a glimpse of *BLANK* in my bag.
*BLANK*? That's what she said.
Netflix's® new original series is a sitcom based around *BLANK* and *BLANK*.Pick 2
"Audiances at Sundance were traumatized by Lars von Trier's controversial new film, "*BLANK*."
"Hey man, you gonna come check out my shown tonight? My new band is called "*BLANK*."
"WANTED: a clean, well-lit place for *BLANK*."
"When you play the Game Of *BLANK*, you win or you die."
"Dear, you father and I found *BLANK* and *BLANK* in your bedroom. I'm shocked, and frankly just a little disappointed."Pick 2
"I go some strange looks in the checkout line when the cashier noticed *BLANK*, *BLANK* and *BLANK* in my cart."Draw 2, Pick 3"
"When I'm serious fucked up and need to make ammends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful?"Pick 2
"If people wouldn't be so quick to judge, I would give *BLANK* to the person on my left in a heartbeat."
"I don't care what peole say, *BLANK* is not a crime."
"Bentley's® latest ultra-high-end luxury sedan comes complete with *BLANK*, *BLANK* and *BLANK*."Draw 2, Pick 3"
"Having abandoned his pleas for a return to the gold standard, Ron Paul is now promoting a *BLANK*-based economy."
"From the people who brough you Sharktopus and Sharknago, Syfy's® next horror film combines sharks with *BLANK*."
An ounce of *BLANK* is worth a pound of *BLANK*.Pick 2
"Experts say that without careful management and conservation, *BLANK* will disappear within our liefetimes."
Apple® has announced a new device that promises to revolutionize the way we think about *BLANK*.
"Now that he has retired, Pope Benedict can finally devote time to his true passion: *BLANK*."
I think I need to take Fluffums to puppy training: he has this terrible habbit of *BLANK*.
"Oh, so you think you're too good for us now, little "Miss *BLANK*!"
Why won't anyone sit with me?
Michelle Obama outraged conservatives when she implied that *BLANK* maybe wasn't such a bad thing.
The NSA wants to talk to me about an email I sent out containing these key phrases:"Draw 2, Pick 3"
"A new Russian dash-cam video shows *BLANK*, right there in the middle of the street!"
"You have my sword." "And you have my bow." "And my *BLANK*!"
I wish it were something simple---like peanuts or shellfish---but my doctor tells me I'm actually allergic to *BLANK*.
I quit my job as a bartender the night some jackas left me *BLANK* as a tip.
"I have to admit... it took me a while to agree to it, but incorporating *BLANK* into our wedding ceremony is a decision I will never regret."